


After You

by seokjinniesworld



Category: Justin Bieber (Musician), One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - 1950s, Alternate Universe - Historical, Angst, Antisemitism, Bottom Zayn, Businessman Justin, Change of pov while in flashbacks, Coming of Age, Dubious Morality, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, Falling Out of Love, Flashbacks, Gay, Holocaust, Justin Bieber - Freeform, M/M, Niall Horan - Freeform, Past Abuse, Short Story, Shy Zayn, Superiority Complex, Survivor Guilt, Top Justin, Vulnerable Zayn, Zayn Malik - Freeform, past trauma, sort of PTSD, zustin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-06-25 13:44:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 32,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15641946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seokjinniesworld/pseuds/seokjinniesworld
Summary: *Set in the 1950's*Zayn Malik has been through it all. He had been captured by the Germans at the age of 17 and put in a place that's literal hell on earth, it was just his luck that he caught the fancy of a Nazi psychopath. Now at the age of 25 he is trying to slowly rebuild his life, figuring out who he is again. Trying to regain his stolen identity, if it could not get complicated enough he also thinks he is slowly falling for his boss.Zayn is convinced that life is out to get him.[Or the one where Zayn is Justin's assistant/secretary battling with a unique form of trauma/PTSD and Justin is just madly in love with his male secretary.]





	1. One.

**Author's Note:**

> Alright well I wrote this purely for my own pleasure a few months ago. I'm a huge history nerd and I just needed to have one of my favourite ships (Zustin!) in a story. We need more Zustin on this platform. Please read the tags carefully.
> 
> And I know, yes, Zayn is not fully British he is half-Pakistani but for the sake of the story let's act like he is fully British wi. He will have some Pakistani/Asian roots but let's pretend that his father is half-pakistani.
> 
> I finished writing this story for myself months ago so updates will come regularly. Also semi-important to mention is that English is not my first language.

One.

**1943**

 

_Just one hour and then it’ll be over, I told myself. I pushed the cart filled with rocks together with another inmate. ‘’Kapo.’’ He states quietly and we both immediately start pushing the cart faster making sure our heads were faced to the ground. I felt my heart beating furiously against my ribcage, for them to notice us could mean death. Technically, anything we did could mean death. When we passed them I let out a breath of relief, I was going to live for another hour. Maybe. We entered our work place where we dumped the rocks and turned around to do the exact same thing again. But we were stopped by one of the Kommandofürher’s, Kauffman. I immediately took of my hat and stared at the ground. ‘’Heil, Herr Kommandant.’’ I could just feel him smirking, my heart was beating furiously again and I didn’t know what to do with myself._

_Klaus Hansel Kauffman was maybe one of the most evil guards out of all of them. And that says something since they’re all very cruel. But he is also the leader out of all the guards. Word goes that he is very close to the actual Furher.  Kauffman just took things to a new extreme, prisoners started shaking when just hearing his name. He forced people into submission, and he seemed to love it. He always had that smirk on his face whenever he was abusing someone, mentally or physically. In the barracks people talk a lot about him, how he doesn’t seem to care about anything. They like to make up stories about how he has no soul anymore since he sold it to the devil. At night people would come up with the craziest made up stories about his past, trying to make sense of why he is the way he is. But I don’t believe those stories, that he sold his soul to the devil. He is the devil._

_This is my first one-on-one interaction with him. And I’m proper pissing myself. ‘’I was looking around and I couldn’t help but notice,’’ he paused. I held my breath. ‘’It’s not too difficult I hope? I mean if it is I could always make something happen.’’ He finishes, I can feel the sweat on my forehead. We all know that that is something really bad. ‘’No, Herr Kommandant, that’s fine. When doing it together it’s way easier. Thank you for the offer.’’ I say my voice breaking slightly by every word. He says nothing for a second or two making me more anxious._

_He walks slowly towards me inspecting my whole face slowly. I can’t read his expressions since my eyes are focused on the ground. He shot someone once for looking him in the eyes._

_‘’See, that’s what I though as well. But if I look at the result, it’s very disappointing. I mean, you said it yourself. With two persons, it also should go twice as fast. Don’t you agree?’’ He says and I peek up to look at his cold blue eyes, but cast them down immediately. It’s over, I fucked it up for the both of us. ‘’Yes, Herr Kommandant.’’ We both speak quietly. He nods slowly and starts pacing. ‘’Did you know that this work facility has the weakest results? Are you two trying to sabotage Germany or even worse the Fürher?’’ He demands not so calm anymore. I just shake my head not being able to think straight anymore._

_Kauffman walks around picking five random other prisoners and tells us to follow him outside. I can hear people cursing at me behind me, they obviously blame me. I can feel the tears brimming in my eyes threatening to fall but I won’t let them. If I cry it’ll just get worse. When we arrive at the centre of the camp some other SS commandants come towards us as well. When Kauffman is having his little daily fun, of course he’ll include his colleagues. ‘’Damn, I don’t know what to do. I’m losing my creativity, any ideas Bruno?’’ He asks his colleague Bruno, I can feel Bruno’s eyes on us. ‘’I think I might know something.’’ He says with a wicked smirk._

_‘’Since the Fürher is building a thousand year old Reich they should know the language, don’t you think?’’ I peek next to me and my heart drops, none of these people seem to be German. They seem to be Polish prisoners, and I just want to faint knowing I caused their deaths. I want to say I’m not too worried about myself but I’m so nervous that I might forget everything. ‘’Brilliant,’’ Kauffman says and he walks towards the man next to me who was helping me push the cart with rocks. ‘’I want you to count till ten in German. Start.’’ He demands while being two centimetres away from the poor man. He’s about thirty years old and probably also has some children. ‘’Eins… Zwei… Drei… Vier…-‘’ the man begins. ‘’Louder.’’ Kauffman demands and the man does it again with a very visible French accent. When he’s finished I silently thank God for helping the man. ‘’Well done, no mistakes at all.’’ Kauffman mocks with a dangerous smirk playing on his lips._

_But then I hear a shot followed by a body falling to the ground. I freeze. But the man did it exactly right? Why did Kauffman shoot him? ‘’Jews don’t live to see the German Reich. What use do they have in learning German?’’ He says nonchalantly, while loading his gun again. The other officers laughing like taking that man’s life was a joke to them. When Kauffman’s gun is loaded again I close my eyes. I hear two shots firing again after a while I open my eyes again to find Kauffman staring directly at me, and now I can’t help but stare at his cold blue eyes._

_There are now just two people standing, excluding me. He shot all the Jews. ‘’It’s so clear that you’re new so let me make this clear.’’ He point his gun at some other guy and shoots again, this time not a Jew. ‘’I do what I want, when I want. We all can,’’ he says pointing at the other guards. ‘’You can’t catch me on a ‘’good’’ day because if I feel like doing the world a favour and getting rid of this scum. I will. You have no power whatsoever in all of this.’’ He presses his gun right against my chest. ‘’I could kill you right here, right now.’’ He says slowly not breaking his stare, and I just stare back at him. Loud ringing in my ears and not being able to breathe for what feels like a whole hour. ‘’But I guess you’re lucky today pretty boy. Tschüss.’’ He says looking me up and down before grinning and walking away._

_I just stand there, not feeling like crying anymore. After a second I turn around to the bodies and avoid their faces. Me and the other person start dragging the victims to the crematorium. And the whole way to the crematorium I shamefully only thought about when we would finally have dinner. I was turning into an animal._

 

**1950**

‘’You sure you don’t want any champagne, Malik?’’ Zayn shakes his head at Jessica who is trying to offer him some champagne. ‘’Oh, come on. Just a little, the holidays are a great excuse to drink.’’ She says with a grin and pushes the glass towards Zayn. Zayn says nothing and just takes the glass to make her stop. ‘’You’re not enjoying yourself, are you?’’ Jessica asks curiously. Zayn shakes his head even though it was true. ‘’I don’t like parties.’’ He states quietly Jessica nods understandingly even though Zayn knows that she doesn’t understand.

Zayn mumbles something about having to go to the toilet to her, because he knows she’s just doing this because he is new. She actually wants to gossip with her female colleagues, and Zayn is totally fine with that. He’s not great company anyways. He walks to the other side of the office and dumps the glass of champagne on a table somewhere. He leans against a wall and just stares at the air silently. Eventually his eyes fall on Mr. Bieber, social butterfly and Zayn’s boss. Justin’s going to be the next CEO of the company and Zayn happens to be his assistant.

Bieber is talking with grand hand gestures being the centre of attention. Everyone seems to love him, but Zayn thinks he is a bit too obnoxious. Zayn doesn’t really like him, not that Zayn really likes anyone but Mr. Bieber seems to annoy him even more. ‘’It was one hell of a deal, one I couldn’t pass. So I did it.’’ Justin finishes and the others just stare at him like he was God himself.

The main reason that Zayn felt annoyed by Justin was also the fact that he was so Aryan as well. He might not have the blue eyes and blonde hair, but for some reason he was still sculpted as a Greek god. He was ideal in the former-Nazi world, making Zayn feel like he’s scum compared to him with his raven black hair. Zayn cringes when thinking about it and decides to just get up and leave. He didn’t want to come anyways.

When he is walking towards the exit he is stopped by a hand on his shoulder. Zayn curses quietly because of the touch and turns around to see Justin smiling at him. ‘’Hey, Zack right? My apologies I know we haven’t really gotten to know one another yet. But like you know my schedule is crazy, but I’d love to know more about you since you’re my assistant and all.’’ Zayn smiles weakly but it looks more like a grimace.

‘’O-Okay, erhm, it’s Zayn.’’ Zayn mumbles quietly, Justin frowns. ‘’I beg your pardon?’’

‘’I mean my name is Zayn not ehm Zack.’’ Zayn feels himself becoming red from embarrassment he’s not used to talking this much, and it doesn’t help that Justin is quite intimidating. Justin nods slowly and apologizes. ‘’Come sit with me.’’ Justin says, not even really asking. Zayn just obeys and follows the taller man feeling really awkward.

Justin walks away from the party and goes to lobby with Zayn behind him. ‘’I noticed that you don’t really like how crowded it was back in there.’’ Zayn just nods and an awkward silence falls. ‘’Tell me Zayn, it’s obvious that you’re not from here. So where are you from?’’ Justin asks staring intensely at Zayn. Zayn was not sure if it was something bad that he was not from the States but he just answered. ‘’I was born in the UK.’’

Justin nods. ‘’I already thought so. I know that England has suffered greatly because of the last war. You had one hell of a leader though, lots of people here in the US were inspired by Winston Churchill. Truman could learn a thing or two from Churchill.’’ Justin says sipping his scotch. Zayn knows that this is the moment where he needs to make a comment about Churchill so they can continue this useless conversation.

Zayn just takes a deep breath. ‘’I-I’m sorry… I just.’’ Justin just nods and takes another sip from his scotch. ‘’Not quite the talker I see. That’s alright. You don’t mind listening, do you?’’ Zayn shakes his head.

‘’Well, I know that England was totally destroyed after the war. I mean, not so bad as Hiroshima and Nagasaki in Japan but it was quite bad. But I have heard that your little country has built itself up again.’’ Zayn had heard about Hiroshima and Nagasaki but doesn’t really know what happened there. ‘’Your family was fine, I take?’’ Justin asks and Zayn just nods even though he has no clue if they’re alive or not. Not that he cares either.

‘’My apologies, it’s very insensitive of me to bring up such a dark period. Especially around this time of the year.’’ Justin says referring to it now being the holidays, Zayn says nothing because of how ironic the situation is for him. ‘’I love this time of the year, not all because it’s the birth of Christ per say. But how it brings people together or closer.’’

The rest of the evening is spent with Justin rambling on about his little siblings and how he can’t wait to give them their presents on Christmas morning. He also talks about his grandfather who Zayn knows is a very nice gentleman. He’s a bit cocky but looking at Justin Zayn believes it something all the Biebers have. Confidence would be a better way to describe it maybe.

‘’I remember two Christmases ago I gave Jazmyn this doll and-‘’ Justin is cut off by Niall, one of  Justin’s advisers. ‘’Hey mate, why did you vanish on us all of a sudden?’’ Niall asks while plopping down next to Justin with a beer in his hand. Niall nods at Zayn for a second to acknowledge his existence but then faces Justin. ‘’You’ve been here for over an hour, everyone is already leaving.’’ Niall complains, Justin just rolls his eyes. ‘’Whatever Niall, I’m heading out in a second as well. You can go.’’ Justin says dismissing Niall and focussing on Zayn again while trying to finish his story.

‘’But Justin –‘’ ‘’I said just go Horan.’’ Justin says, with way more authority in his voice now. Niall looks at Justin and then just gets up while mumbling something on his way out. Zayn knows that Justin didn’t hear since Justin wouldn’t let Niall go if he did.

‘’I’m sorry, I love the guy to death but sometimes he acts like he can’t function properly without me standing next to him.’’ Justin says while rubbing his temples. Zayn presses his lips against each other and nods as if to say that he understands what Justin means. Niall is always following Justin, anyone in the office wants to be friends with Bieber since being closer to him maybe meant a better pay check.

‘’Alright, now let me take you home.’’ Justin says while getting up and finishing his scotch. ‘’Excuse me?’’ Zayn looks at Justin not really wanting to be in his presence any longer. Not that he can’t stand being around Justin. Justin is just too intimidating and Zayn just wants to relax for even just a second. ‘’Yes, I’m taking you home. I know you were planning on leaving earlier but I stopped you. Therefor I’m taking you home, besides you don’t have a car.’’

Zayn blushes in embarrassment, even though knowing Justin didn’t mean it in a degrading way. ‘’I don’t mean it like—‘’ ‘’I know.’’ Zayn sighs, he knows he can’t fight Justin. He looks up at Justin and bites his lip. ‘’Okay then.’’ He answers quietly and Justin grins. ‘’Great, now let me just say my goodbyes to my gramps.’’

Justin and Zayn walk in silence through the long hallways until they arrive at Mr. Bieber’s office. Justin opens the door for Zayn and Zayn just shuffles uneasy. ‘’I-I’ll just wait here.’’ Justin shakes his head. ‘’Nonsense, no one is nicer than gramps. Come on.’’ He takes Zayn’s hand and drags him into the big office room that might as well be Zayn’s whole apartment.

The CEO himself was standing by the window with Jessica from earlier standing next to him. They turn around and old Mr. Bieber immediately starts smiling at the sight of his grandson. ‘’Gramps! Sorry I ditched you guys, I was getting to know Zayn here.’’ Justin says while going in for a hug. ‘’Don’t worry about it son,’’ He says while patting Justin on his back. ‘’Zayn, how are you on this lovely evening my friend?’’ Mr. Bieber asks while looking directly at Zayn.

‘’M’fine Mr Bieber, thank you.’’ Zayn mumbles awkwardly, he feels very anxious around big authority figures. ‘’Good, good. Jessica and I here were just talking about how you two run off.’’

Justin just smiles politely at Jessica, something is telling Zayn Justin doesn’t like Jessica all that much. ‘’Yeah, well, we wish we could stay longer but I’m dropping Zayn off and then I’m going home as well since I’m going to do some last-minute things.’’

‘’Justin,’’ Mr. Bieber scolds and Justin just smiles innocently. ‘’I know, I know. I shouldn’t be working. I won’t be doing too much. We’re going now though.’’

Justin walks to Jessica and plants two kisses on her cheek and tells her to have a merry Christmas. Jessica then comes over to Zayn and plants two kisses on his cheek as well making Zayn cringe but hide it under a fake smile. Justin hugs his grandfather once more and then Mr. Bieber shakes Zayn hand smiling at him. ‘’Be safe, don’t drive if you had too much alcohol. Merry Christmas Zayn!’’ Mr. Bieber shouts after Zayn and Justin.

After they picked up their stuff they’re walking over the parking lot. ‘’Your grandfather is very nice, sir.’’ Zayn decides to comment quietly. Justin just nods with a smile. ‘’Yeah, he is a really good man. He is the one who basically raised me.’’ Justin says while opening the door and stepping in. Zayn does the same thing and puts his seatbelt on. Zayn takes off his jacket and holds it in his lap. ‘’I didn’t know you had a tattoo.’’ Zayn looks frantically at his arm and there it is. His god-awful tattoo that is fading slightly, but the numbers are still readable.

Justin laughs and looks surprised at Zayn. ‘’Hey, don’t worry about it. I’m not uptight about that kind of stuff. I just didn’t take you as the type, you know?’’ Zayn says nothing and just stares at his hands. ‘’May I ask why you those numbers?’’ Zayn shakes his head and looks out of the window. ‘’I’d rather not talk about it.’’ He mumbles.

It’s quiet for a second but then Justin starts the engine. ‘’I’m sorry.’’ Zayn wants to say that it’s okay and that he wasn’t offended. But he always tries so hard to ignore the existence of that death note on his arm. And for Justin to just bring it up hurts, even though he didn’t know that it was a sensitive subject.

Zayn gives Justin the directions and they eventually arrive at Zayn’s crappy apartment. But Zayn is too exhausted to do anything anymore, good thing that it’s Christmas and he will not have to go to work tomorrow. ‘’Thank you for the ride, Sir.’’ Zayn smiles weakly at Justin and is about to step out of the car.

‘’Zayn, wait. I want to ask you something.’’ Zayn turns around to Justin and looks at him with a curious and kind of suspicious look. ‘’What do you like? I know you don’t like talking too much but let me at least know one thing you like. Please?’’ Justin looks at him with a soft look, basically pleading. Zayn is quiet for a second, what does he like?

He felt like he stopped living when he became 17 when he we went to that hell. But before that, he did have a thing he really enjoyed. ‘’Superhero comics.’’ He blurts out.

‘’Superhero comics?’’ Zayn turns red blushing like crazy. ‘’I-I know, I should be an adult and I eh- it’s a long time since I read one anyway since—‘’ Justin laughs when Zayn starts rambling. ‘’No, it’s cool. I have never really been into comics but I can see why you like them. Thank you for sharing that with me.’’

Zayn just nods and gets out of the car. ‘’Have a merry Christmas, Mr. Bieber.’’ He says quietly before closing the door stopping Justin from answering.

 

**_The Next Morning_ **

_Hi Zayn,_

_Merry Christmas! Thank you for keeping me company last night. Hope you have a lovely day._

_Justin Bieber – Bieber Corporations_

Zayn re-reads the note about twenty times before opening the heavy package that came with it. Justin must have made someone sent it to Zayn since they don’t do deliveries on Christmas day. He opens it to see all kinds of different comic books, complete whole series. Zayn goes through them with big eyes and he can feel himself slipping back to the time where he was a kid. Where he had no worries. And that small little thing that Justin did just to be nice made Zayn actually truly smile. And Zayn cannot remember when the last time was that he smiled like this.


	2. Two.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Making a deal with the devil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again, please leave a comment and let me know what you think. xo

Two.

 

**1943**

 

_In a very uncomfortable posture I was waiting for the Appèl to be over. It was Kauffman who was calling out our numbers. These monsters try to do everything to de-humanize us as much as possible, it’s disgusting really. When Appel is over we are all ordered to go back to work, I walk with my head faced down to the kitchen. I had cleaning duty in the kitchen, and I thanked god for that. I will not survive long if I have to do anymore of that slave work._

_But I know that the Allies are coming, and I have to hold on for just a little longer. In a matter of weeks this all will be in the past. I know I can make it, I’m strong and I have faith in the USA. Last time I heard that General Eisenhower was planning an secret attack on Germany. The thought of being free again made me smile weakly and I headed to the kitchen._

_Once in the kitchen I saw only one SS-man, good. I don’t want those wankers barking in my ear the whole time like a few days ago. Once the SS’er has given us brief instructions he opens a book and sits down on a chair and lights up a cigar. I get a brush and start brushing the floor, and do that for two hours straight, when I decide I have to clean the  ‘’food pot’’._

_That’s another thing, the food here is horrendous. They shouldn’t even call it food, but every morning when I’m utterly starving I eat that shit like it’s a bloody cooked potato. When I walk over there I see that there is a little bit of soup left. My stomach starts growling and my mouth watering._

_I look at the little bit of soup left and immediately picture the ‘’Musellman’’. A term they use here for people who are literally skin on bones because of food deprivation, those people are also the ones who have gone mental. They don’t respond to their surroundings anymore and have accepted that by the next Appel they will be sent away to be killed._

_I can’t become like that. I refuse to become like that. I look at the little bit of soup and glance around. All the other inmates are on the other side of the room, and even if I get caught the guard I saw was one of the alright ones. Worst I can get is maybe being whipped fifty times, and I can handle that._

_After talking myself into it I put my hand in the big bowl and scrape of the almost dried up left-overs from the soup and stick them into my mouth moaning quietly at my stomach being filled with some kind of food. Without thinking I stick my hand back in there to scrape of some more._

_‘’You enjoying yourself? The sound you made there almost sounded orgasmic.’’ I take my hand out of the bowl like the bowl is on fire and turn around to see no one other than Kauffman standing in front of me. My heart starts beating so hard I’m afraid it’s going to jump out of my chest. ‘’What were you doing with your hand in the bowl?’’ He asks playing dumb, either way I’m frozen with fear. Every muscle in my body has just frozen and I feel like I’m going to faint._

_He’s going to cut my hand off, or he’s going to torture me. Kauffman is cruel, especially when he catches you doing something that’s again the rules. My eyes start welling with tears and I feel my dignity stripping away when the tears fall on my face. Kauffman cocks his head and looks at my like he’s thinking. ‘’You were stealing, I know you were,’’ he says and starts walking closer to me._

_‘’But the question is; what am I going to do about it? I can’t let it slide now can I? Someone has to get punished for this.’’ He continues, his eyes following my silent tears. My hands are shaking and my heart is beating. God, I don’t want to die yet! Please, God, please oh God._

_‘’I’m not saying who is getting punished. So tell me, A-2811, who ate from the soup bowl?’’ For a second I’m confused but then I understand what he’s trying to say. He wants me to pick someone else to blame it on. Am I going to do that? Am I willing to let my morals just go like that? But I also don’t want to die, and I’m sure that if I don’t choose I will die._

_‘’It was the guy who is now peeling the potatoes.’’ I say quietly. Kauffman smirks, ‘’Those dirty Jews. I knew it.’’ He says winking playfully at me while I feel like I’m ready to throw-up. Kauffman walks to the middle of the room with his head high and screams that they have to pay attention and look at him. His whole posture screams authority and power._

_‘’One of you has stolen from us. And when you steal from us, you steal from the Third Reich. And we don’t need no filthy Jews trying to break down the Third Reich after our Fürher has worked so hard to build it up again.’’ He basically spits the words out with rage. I can’t do anything but stare at the scène and ask myself if I made the right decision. He narrows his eyes and scans everyone, one by one._

_And then he stumps forwards to a young man, not that much older than I am. Probably nineteen or twenty. I know him, he told people in the barracks that he has been here since he was sixteen. And I want to look away so badly but I can’t. ‘’I totally forgot about this rat. I swear to the Fürher I have been wanting to kill you for like three years but I keep forgetting. You Jewish people are like fucking cockroaches.’’ The boy is crying now, and as badly as I want to look away I can’t. I look at how Kauffman punches the boy in the face with the butt of his rifle he does that repeatedly until the boy is barely recognizable._

_The tears are brimming again in my eyes as I look at the boy pleading for mercy. The boy is laying down on the ground with Kauffman on his knees, Kauffman decides to stand up and put his foot on the boys head. He looks around again, to see if everyone is watching. If they weren’t, they would be his next victim. Then he stops to look at me and smirks as if to say; ‘’This is what you wanted.’’_

_‘’Alright, since I’m not feeling like beating you to death we’ll hang you. He orders three SS-ers to take it over and tells the other inmates to follow so they can see what happens to do them if they ever think about stealing from them. I’m ready to follow the others when he tells me to stop and stay here with him. The other inmates look at me with pity thinking that I’m probably going to be beat up too._

_Once everyone has left Kauffman starts talking. ‘’I just did you a favour. But that means that you owe me. I will want something in return and when the day comes that I ask that thing, you will give it to me. No fighting back, you will just do it. Understood?’’ I feel myself tense up and try to think what possible thing he would want from me. He basically owns everyone here including me. ‘’I will continue to do you favours and keep you alive, but you will give back eventually.’’_

_I’m catching his tone, and I’m ready to throw up again. It cannot possible be that, right? It goes against their Nazi beliefs. Despite all this I still nod my head. If there’s a chance of surviving I will take it with both hands. ‘’Thank you.’’ I say unsure of what to say and he seems surprised. He nods his head and tells me to go back to my barrack._

 

Zayn wakes up with tears brimming in his eyes. Another nightmare. Lately he has been having all the most horrible life events being played back to him. With all this he feels like he is never going to forget what happened to him, he would give a million dollars just to be able to forget. He gets up and looks at his sweat soaked sheets. He sighs quietly and gets up and changes the sheets.

After showering and getting ready he walks to his small dark living room. He looks at the blue box filled with comics that Justin gave him. He squats down and goes through the box, he puts a couple random comics in his bag so that he can read some in his break. He also makes a mental note to thank Justin and try to be a little more talkative. He felt so stupid for how he behaved that night. Justin probably thinks he’s retarded or something.

He just still feels so insecure around Justin and that automatically also makes him feel more uncomfortable. Justin is clearly pure Aryan despite his brown eyes, Zayn on the other hand has very obvious middle-eastern looks. His mother is English and his dad is Pakistani and fought in the First Great War also known as the First World War or the War in the Trenches. That’s also what inspired Zayn to fight in the war.

Zayn makes himself some coffee and puts it in his cup and puts that in his bag as well. He puts on his jacket since it’s quite chilly outside and starts walking towards the office. Zayn has no car at the moment so he has to settle with walking. Zayn doesn’t really mind the walking itself, he just hates it how his mind wanders. So he keeps himself busy by counting the number of yellow cars he passes by.

After half an hour Zayn arrives at the office and everyone is just arriving. But it’s also like six in the morning, he goes to his desk that is in the hallway right besides Justin’s office. He takes out his coffee and puts it on his desk. He gets out Justin’s agenda and checks all his appointments. Justin has two meetings, one lunch with his grandfather and he also has to hand in some reviews today. Not that much.

Zayn gets out the files Justin gave him last week and starts to sort them out when he hears Justin’s voice. Zayn looks up and sees Justin walking together with Niall who has an office as well on the other side of the office, not as big but still alright. Zayn is not sure if he should greet Justin now or if he would be mad that he interrupted his conversation. But not greeting his boss would be rude as well.

Luckily Justin sees Zayn and gives him a curt nod, making Niall glance at Zayn as well. ‘’Morning, Mr. Bieber. I-I wanted to thank you for the present you sent me… Very thoughtful of you, sir.’’ Zayn says quietly and flinches when he stutters, Niall looks at him with eyes that are clearly judging him. The thing is working in this kind of branch the people are very confident and have their head shoved up their own arse. So when Zayn shows signs of insecurity his co-workers immediately judge him for it.

Justin smiles at him. ‘’I’m glad you liked it. We should have lunch together sometime. What’s the schedule?’’ Zayn puts his glasses on and looks down on his paper fast. ‘’You have two meetings Sir, one with Mr. Johnson about statistics and the other one with Mr. Smiths about Inventory. And the reviews also have to be handed in today.’’ Justin nods mumbles a thank you and leaves. Leaving Niall alone with Zayn.

Niall is staring down at Zayn, like Zayn is literally less than him. Zayn averted his eyes and just checks off some tasks he has finished but he still feels Niall’s eyes on him. ‘’What did he send you?’’ Niall eventually asks. ‘’I beg your pardon?’’ Niall rolls his eyes in clear annoyance acting like Zayn is stupid. ‘’You said he sent you something yesterday. What was it?’’

Zayn flinches at Niall’s tone, not really wanting to tell him now. ‘’It was just something small. It doesn’t matter.’’ Zayn says quietly. Jessica who has been watching the situation for a second steps in. ‘’Horan, stop harassing Justin’s assistant and go do something productive.’’ She shoos Niall away who rolls his eyes and throws Zayn another disapproving look.

Zayn knows Niall doesn’t like him, he made that clear from day one. Niall believes Zayn got this job out of pity, which is partly true but that doesn’t mean Zayn isn’t working hard every day. He works harder than anyone else in the office and has never missed a dead-line. But then again he only works at the office for about a month now.

‘’Don’t worry about him, Niall is just… Very grumpy in the morning.’’ Jessica says trying to reassure Zayn. Zayn just smiles weakly at her because he knows that she is just saying that to make him feel better. Jessica is the only person in the office he feels slightly comfortable with. She has very dark almost black hair paired with very pretty greenish eyes.

But it’s not her appearance that makes Zayn feel comfortable it’s the fact that she’s one of the few people who despite Zayn’s lack of social skills still tries to make a conversation him. Even though it’s mostly a one-sided conversation ninety percent of the time. ‘’Anyways, how was Christmas? Did you get anything exciting.’’ Zayn crunches his nose and shakes his head, he doesn’t celebrate it and something about the holiday itself annoys him.

Jessica seems to pick up on that and just nods. ‘’Oh, well, is Justin prepared for our International visitors? I heard they are already coming in two weeks, maybe even earlier. I find it all very exciting, I’ve always wanted to learn some Italian.’’ Jessica shrieks shortly and Zayn just smiles weakly at her. She looks down on her watch and says her goodbyes telling Zayn that she has to go get something.

The phone starts to ring and Zayn takes a deep breath and picks up. ‘’Bieber Corporations, Mr. Bieber Junior’s assistant speaking. How may I help you?’’ And that’s how the day goes on for Zayn. Following after Justin and tidying up after him, since Justin is horrible in keeping things organised. Zayn doesn’t mind though.

Zayn is going through some of Justin’s mail sorting them and making a relevant and not-so relevant box. The not so relevant one including advertisement and all that kind of stuff. He’s doing it inside Justin’s office with Justin writing a letter to some other company and also clearly struggling since he rips the paper in two and gets another sheet of paper.

Zayn looks amused at how frustrated and pouty Justin gets. ‘’You don’t know how frustrating this is, Zayn. I cannot even write a simple letter, I’m under so much stress because of those Italians coming in two weeks. I feel like any moment that I’m not preparing myself is a waste of my time.’’ Zayn nods understandingly, Justin is indeed under a lot of pressure. His grandfather wants this to go flawless, and if Mr. Bieber wants it Justin will do anything in his power to make it happen.

‘’I could write it, Sir. And I could give it to you so you can check if it’s alright.’’ Zayn suggests quietly. ‘’I don’t want to bother you anymore than I already do, Zayn.’’

‘’It’s kind of my job, Sir.’’ Zayn says with a small smile. ‘’Yes, but it’s not your job to do the things I’m supposed to do.’’ Justin says and goes with his hand through his perfectly styled hair. Zayn fiddles a little with his hands. ‘’It’s totally fine, Sir. I understand that you’re under a lot of pressure right now.’’

Justin eventually gives in and lets Zayn do it. ‘’You’re amazing Zayn, you’re such a hard-worker it’s inspiring really. Makes me think about my grandfather when he was just starting out.’’ Justin praises.

Zayn blushes and thanks him quietly. It’s been awhile since anyone complimented him like that. Justin smirks noticing that he made Zayn blush like that.

 

It’s the end of the day now and Zayn is doing some last-minute tasks Justin gave him, while everyone is else is getting ready to leave the office. Justin walks over to Zayn and gives him some papers and sighs quietly. ‘’I don’t think we can finish this today. I’ll just take it home I guess.’’ Zayn shakes his head and gets some of the paper. ‘’No, don’t worry about it. I’ll take them, I don’t have anything planned anyways.’’

Zayn has noticed that Justin has been looking very tired, and that’s weird since Justin always looks fresh and ready. Like he just came from a modelling photo-shoot. But now he has some little bags under his eyes and looks physically just exhausted. He still looks beautiful but that’s not what matters right now.

‘’Zayn – I really, just need to take responsibility I don’t want to make you do my work.’’ Justin says sighing and putting his hand through his hair. Mr. Bieber sees the little interaction that Justin and Zayn are having and walks up to them. ‘’You could do it together, and take Horan with you. He has a lot of work to do as well, it’s fine if you can’t do it alone Justin. You shouldn’t be afraid to ask for help.’’

‘’I can do this, gramps.’’ Justin argues annoyed. ‘’Justin, stop.’’ Mr. Bieber says in a stern voice making Justin blush from embarrassment of being told off. Justin says nothing for a second but then just nods. ‘’Get ready Zayn, we’re leaving in a minute. I’m going to collect some things and get Horan as well.’’ Zayn flinches because of the tone of Justin’s voice. He sounds like he’s annoyed with Zayn.

It’s obvious that he feels embarrassed, he wanted to show his grandfather that he could do it. And because of Zayn insisting that he needed some help his grandfather noticed that he’s been struggling. But it’s not like it’s weird that he’s struggling, there’s no human being alive who would be able to just casually pull it off without struggling.

Zayn sighs, not really looking forward to being alone with just Justin and Niall. He gets his cheap old brown bag and puts his papers and agenda in there. He gets his black jacket and walks towards Niall’s office where Justin and Niall are seeming to have a little argument. As soon as the other two men notice him they fall quiet making Zayn assume that they were talking about him. He shuffles uncomfortable and looks shyly at the two older men. ‘’C-Can we go?’’ Zayn stutters making Niall cringe at him.

‘’I’ll just follow you with my own car.’’ Niall says looking at Justin for a second before walking away. Justin looks at him annoyed but then just shakes his head. ‘’Alright, let’s go.’’ Zayn follows Justin quietly and watches as Justin lights a cigar in front of him. He offers Zayn a cigar as well but Zayn just shakes his head, not really feeling like smoking. ‘’It releases stress.’’ Justin mumbles, not really expecting a response.

They get into Justin’s very ‘’humble’’ looking car. It was the newest edition of… And it was much more impressive now that Zayn isn’t too tired like two days ago. They get in and drive in silence with only the sound of the radio filling the car. They stop at this surprisingly home-y looking house, Zayn expected Justin’s house to be way more modern. This looks like a house of a very happy family that you see in advertisements.

Justin notices Zayn’s confusion. ‘’It’s my grandparents old house. They don’t live here anymore but we Biebers come here a lot to celebrate holidays or just to have lunch together. My grandparents just couldn’t sell the house because of all the memories we had here.’’ Zayn nods feeling very awed at how the Biebers are so close.

His family didn’t really do get-togethers and they also didn’t really celebrate holidays that much. And if they did they would only do it with Zayn’s sisters and his mum and dad. Niall eventually arrives as well and they all head inside together.

The house looking even more home-y in the inside every wall has like a bazillion pictures. Zayn can easily tell which baby photos are of Justin and which are not, which is probably also very weird. ‘’Alright, make yourself comfortable. I’m going to make us some coffee.’’ Justin leaves and immediately an awkward silence falls between Niall and Zayn. Zayn decides to just say nothing and get right to work.

He gets out some papers and reads through them while jotting down some notes in one of his notebooks. Zayn can feel Niall staring at him and tries really hard not to look back at him since he knows Niall is judging him. Zayn can’t really seem to put his finger quite on it, Niall has just been very rude to Zayn ever since he walked into the office on his very first day. Eventually Niall stops and decides to pack out his stuff as well.

After a few minutes Justin walks in as well and gives both Zayn and Niall a cup of coffee. Zayn thanks Justin quietly even though he doesn’t even really like coffee he still sips from it. He has learned to not take anything for granted, to not waste any food.

Niall and Justin chat a little about some game they went to together, making them work a little slower. Zayn just focuses on himself and keeps reading through all the papers and jotting down notes. After two hours he’s finished with the first bunch of papers. Now he has to do the second bunch, looking over at Niall and Justin he sees that Justin is also almost finished with his first bunch and Niall is just a little over halfway.

‘’You’re already done? I’m impressed, you should take a break.’’ Justin says while smiling at Zayn. Zayn just nods his head gratefully and just takes a deep breath. ‘’Where did you learn all these skills, actually?’’ Niall asks not so-friendly. Zayn blinks.

‘’What school did you go to?’’ Niall asks as if Zayn is dumb. ‘’Niall.’’ Justin warns him, but is too busy with his head in a map. ‘’I, eh… Took night classes somewhere.’’ Zayn says quietly just to answer Niall’s question and make him stop. ‘’Night classes somewhere? Huh, I see our company has really lowered their standards.’’ He mumbles the last part under his breath so that only Zayn hears it. Zayn frowns and suddenly feels very self-conscious.

Is it because he looks like he is from middle-eastern background? Is Niall going to act on these prejudice ideas? Will he get hurt? Zayn cannot get hurt again, he doesn’t want to. Not again. He looks around and his eyes eventually fall on Justin. ‘’Ehm, Mr. Bieber I’m heading out now. I’ll take this home, I will finish it there. I’m tired.’’ He says his voice breaking and sounding rushed at the same time.

‘’Oh, you can crash here. I can wake you up later if you want.’’ Justin says looking at Zayn with very concerned eyes. Zayn nods feeling very dizzy suddenly from the in his eyes ‘’threat’’ that is named Niall Horan. Different kinds of ridiculous scenarios go through his head, and even though they’re all not realistic, to him they are.

Justin leads Zayn to one of the guest rooms where Zayn immediately just lays down and closes his eyes. ‘’If you need something, don’t hesitate to ask.’’ Justin says, after that leaving and closing the door behind him. Zayn says nothing and drifts in to a sleep of nothingness. Or at least a sleep that starts out as nothing.


	3. Three.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another look into the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason reading my own writing is very cringey... Oh well.

_‘’Zayn! You got to stay with me mate!’’ Robbie slaps me in the face with his hand making me open my eyes again. God, we’re still in this goddamn train. ‘’How long have we been in here?’’ I asks, my voice raspy from not having any water in days. ‘’Three days. We we’re actually going East but I can see that we have changed route, for some reason they’re sending us West now.’’ Robbie says confused. ‘’We’ll be ok though, Zee, as long as we are together.’’ He says using my nickname that he knows annoys me. I say nothing and just sigh._

_I look at my friend who is just like me still in uniform. Robbie looks pale like a ghost and his cheekbones are really visible now. Robbie was never really a strong guy to begin with, and I can see that this road-trip of hell is really effecting his body. But I’m also not looking too good, at least I’m looking better than the others in the train._

_There are old people, babies, toddlers and grown-ups. The children are crying by their mother and some children are lying beside a dead corpse sleeping silently. My heart aches at the sight. ‘’Everyone is going slowly mental. You see that woman there in the corner with the baby?’’ I nod at the woman who is holding a baby in her stick-like arms. She looks straight-forward not looking at anything in particular. She seems out of it, but at the same time she’s not dead. ‘’She choked her own baby with a cloth. The baby she’s holding is dead.’’ Robbie says quietly._

_I look at the baby in the woman’s arms with a horrified look. I don’t know why I’m still surprised, since we’ve been here at least fifteen people have died. We were here with at least fifty people to begin with, and everyone is coughing and they gave us one bucket of water. And that was two days ago. I have become numb to other people’s pain. I cannot think straight since I haven’t eaten a proper meal in days. ‘’You know what’s funny? They actually use these wagons for animals.’’ Robbie says and laughs bitterly._

_Robbie starts coughing loudly, eventually he’s coughing up blood and I look up at him with big eyes. His eyes are watering from all the coughing and he waves his hand in a dismissive manner as to say that it doesn’t matter. ‘’Don’t worry, we won’t drive for another day. If we do, we’ll be heading to the United States. And wherever we arrive, it cannot be worse than this.’’ Robbie says and I nod in agreement._

_Robbie and I say sit in silent playing footie with our feet. Trying to get our attention away from our roaring stomachs. I’m so hungry that it actually hurts. Eventually we stop joking around and Robbie goes back to sleep. I try to do the same, but  I have never been this hungry. “I can see a station!’’ Some man screams who is standing right beside the window. And he was right because not shortly after the train comes to a still. People in white and blue striped pyjama’s open the door with German officers standing behind them holding German Shepherds who look like they’re ready to attack us._

_‘’Robbie! Bud, we’re there. Come on, wake up!’’ I move his head, but nothing. ‘’Robbie? Robbie, wake up please!’’ Nothing. Tears start filling my eyes, he can’t have died just now. That’s not possible. An hour ago he was alive. I start shaking him like crazy he looks like a doll and he eventually just falls forward._

_One man in a striped pyjama walks up to me. ‘’Just leave him. I promise, it’ll be easier.’’ I shake my head not knowing what he means and try to pick my friend up. They must have an emergency room somewhere I need to take him there! ‘’He’s dead.’’ The dead looking man in the striped pyjama says in a monotone voice._

_The tears start streaming over my cheeks. No he can’t be dead! ‘’Robbie! Wake up, you can’t let me do this alone.’’_

_‘’Robbie!’’_

_‘’Robbie!’’_

‘’Robbie!’’

‘’Robbie, please don’t leave me!’’

‘’Zayn! Wake up!’’ Zayn feels someone shaking him up, he immediately gets up and looks straight into Justin’s golden eyes. Justin says nothing and just puts a hand on one of Zayn’s shoulders. ‘’Hey, you’re okay.’’ Justin whispers, Zayn just shakes his head and puts his hands on his face. ‘’No, I’m not.’’ And it’s just now that he feels the tears and the sweat. He breathes heavily.

He just looks straight forward and Justin looks at Zayn with a concerned look. After a few minutes Zayn has calmed down and his breathing is now regular again. ‘’I’m sorry, I’ll go finish the papers.’’ Zayn says about to get up but Justin stops him. ‘’No, I already did it. It’s like three in the morning.’’ Justin says quietly. ‘’I’m sorry if I woke you up, I didn’t mean to.’’ Justin shakes his head. ‘’No, I was awake anyways. But are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?’’ Zayn shakes his head no.

‘’I’m positive.’’

-

‘’Shall I get you some water? Or tea? Anything you want.’’ Justin asks quietly looking worried at Zayn who’s just staring at air. ‘’Yea, I’ll come with you. I want to get out for a second anyway.’’ Justin nods and Zayn climbs out of the bed and follows Justin to the kitchen. Justin looks at him holding up a glass. ‘’Water is fine, thank you.’’ Zayn answers and cuddles himself with his arms. ‘’You cold?’’ Zayn shakes his head, he is actually really hot right now.

‘’Want to go catch some fresh air on the patio?’’ Justin asks reading Zayn’s mind. Zayn nods and follows Justin to the patio on the front of the house. He embraces the cold air of the night happily and he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Justin just stands beside him quietly looking at the stars above them. He suddenly points to the air and smiles. ‘’Look, a shooting star. Make a wish.’’ Zayn looks at him surprised but then just closes his eyes and makes a wish. ‘’What did you wish for?’’ Justin asks looking curiously at Zayn. Zayn arches his eyebrow. ‘’If I tell you it won’t come true, right?’’

Justin grins. ‘’Right. You know, I did a wish as well.’’ Zayn unintentionally snorts at that making him blush as Justin looks at him he looks at Zayn with a look that says ‘’what?’’. Zayn hesitates, they have already broken the stay professional rule and Justin doesn’t seem like the type to get offended that easily. ‘’It’s just… What would you wish for? You already have everything.’’ Justin starts to laugh like Zayn made a joke making Zayn confused. ‘’What?’’

‘’Oh, you mean that seriously…?’’ Justin asks unsure when Zayn nods Justin just looks like he doesn’t know what to say for a moment. Which is rare. ‘’Zayn… No one is truly ‘’happy’’ or ‘’perfect’’ if you show me someone who is perfect I’ll show you a very calculated sociopath.’’ Zayn looks at him, like straight at him. Zayn has not done that before and when Justin stares back he realises just how beautiful Zayn’s eyes actually are. It’s a shame he is avoiding everyone’s eyes 99% of the time.

Zayn looks not so convinced at Justin but says nothing. ‘’Zee, look; I’m not perfect. If you think I am you couldn’t be more wrong.’’ Zayn’s heart begins to race by hearing his old nickname that Robbie used to use for him. He takes in small breaths so that he doesn’t burst into tears. When he’s sure he’s not going to cry he stops and keeps looking straight-forward. For some reason, it weren’t tears from sadness. They were kind of relieving, it was like he was putting a part of Robbie in his heart when Justin called him that. ‘’I’m sorry did I say something wrong?’’ Justin asks picking up on Zayn’s change of mood.

‘’I used to have this friend,’’ Zayn starts out of nowhere and he looks at Justin for a second to see if he should continue or not. Justin looks now at him curiously wanting him to continue. ‘’So I had this friend… And we grew up together, his name was Robbie. He was one of my best mates.’’ Zayn takes another breath and pauses for a few seconds before continuing. ‘’B-But then one day it was just over, he was gone.’’ Zayn says quietly. ‘’And I wasn’t ready for him to leave, I wasn’t strong enough for what was to come. And sometimes I look back and wonder what would have happened if he stayed? Would it have been easier?’’ I know it would’ve made the whole experience only harder, but I just keep that to myself.

‘’He moved?’’

‘’No, he died.’’ Justin’s eyes become big and he looks shocked, I just blankly look at him. ‘’Oh, fuck. I’m so sorry Zayn, I didn’t know. Death is a hard thing, my dad died as well a few years ago because of a heart attack.’’ Zayn just nods numbly, he actually wanted to shout: ‘’No! It’s not the same. He was technically murdered! They let him die!’’ But Zayn just says nothing and stares up at the stars again.

‘’But what you should always remember is that whatever happened to your friend, it’s not your fault. It’s not something you could’ve changed. Our stars were written the day we were born, there is no changing that. The fault is in our stars, not ourselves.’’ Justin says while looking up at the stars. Zayn looks up at the stars as well and thinks about what Justin said.

He frowns, so if it’s all written in the stars was it written that he was supposed to be abused, neglected and all that other terrible shit. Was it always supposed to be that way? Was it destiny that decided that Zayn should have a shit life? Or was it some other god? Zayn stopped believing in God a long time ago. He remembers pathetically praying the first few months when he was in that hell. Was God too busy to listen to him? Or did he just not care enough?

Eventually he stopped, what was the point? God was not hearing his prayers. Justin is right, it was all meant to be. He was meant to suffer, and that thought depressed him. Because that also meant that he was going to suffer for the rest of his miserable life. It made Zayn all just so tired, he hated thinking like this.

‘’You’re quite young, aren’t you?’’ Zayn nods. ‘’I’m twenty-four, I’ll be twenty-five quite soon though.’’ Zayn answers quietly. ‘’I already thought so, I’m twenty-six myself.’’

‘’Want to hear some imperfections of mine, since you were so surprised to hear that I wasn’t perfect?’’ Justin asks and looks at Zayn with a grin. ‘’Surprise me.’’ Zayn mumbles in response.

‘’Alright, I’m not really that ‘’intelligent’’ I just work hard. I was terrible at maths.’’ Justin says making quotations with his hands. ‘’Ehm… Let’s see, I was quite the trouble maker as a kid and I still kind of am.’’ Justin says pursing his lips while thinking. ‘’I’m quite insecure about my looks.’’ Zayn’s head snaps and he looks at Justin with an ‘’are you serious’’-look. Justin just laughs it off. ‘’No, I really am but that’s fine. And ehm… I know that everyone in the office likes to talk shit about me about how I don’t actually deserve this job. And sometimes I think they’re right.’’

‘’I mean, it’s just that I’m privileged enough to have this job. If I wasn’t my granddads white grand-son, I would have never gotten this position.’’ Justin says quietly and then stops with talking. ‘’Oh, and I’m into both men and women.’’ He says casually making Zayn blush a deep shade of red. ‘’I hope, you’re okay with that. I’m being very risky right now.’’ Justin mumbles with a smile looking at Zayn. ‘’It’s just that I for some reason feel like I can trust you.’’

Being gay was illegal and if anyone found out Justin’s reputation would be basically dead. ‘’No, it doesn’t matter.’’ Zayn lies quietly. Justin nods gratefully. ‘’Don’t worry my family knows, they’re the only ones besides you. And they are quite alright with it, we’re quite open-minded it’s just that they’re worried for my future.’’ Zayn just nods and stares at the ground. ‘’Don’t worry, I’m not immediately going to hit on you if that’s what you think.’’ Justin says teasingly, but Zayn feels very uncomfortable right now.

He doesn’t really have the greatest experience with men like Justin. But deep down Zayn knows that Justin is nothing like those men, at least Zayn wants to believe that. So Zayn forces himself to calm down and look at Justin again. ‘’Don’t worry about it, it doesn’t matter to me. I’m just surprised, you could have such a lovely wife.’’ Zayn says quietly.

‘’Yeah, I could. It doesn’t mean that I want to per say. I mean, if I meet a wonderful girl and whatever sure. But I feel like the same things apply if it’s a guy. I don’t know, it’s weird.’’ Justin says shrugging and looking at the ground, him being the nervous one for once. Zayn smiles, he can see that Justin is genuine about this. That it’s not just a perverted idea of his. So Zayn nods and puts one of his hands on Justin’s shoulders for just a second. ‘’You know what? You’re right.’’ Zayn says quietly while smiling at Justin making Justin smile back at him.

‘’Alright, let’s go inside I’m freezing.’’ Zayn suggests and Justin nods together they walk back inside. ‘’You know, this is the most I have ever heard you speak.’’ Zayn nods and together they head back to the guest room. ‘’I really thought you hated my guts at first.’’ Justin admitted with a small smile. Zayn shakes his head no and just smiles lightly. ‘’You were just very intimidating, and I was just scared. There are lots of fake people you know. But I know now that you’re not like any of them.’’ Zayn says quietly and Justin beams at that.

‘’Do you want to take off for today’s work that starts in like two hours?’’ Zayn shakes his head. There’s no reason to, he wasn’t going to get any sleep anyways. ‘’Alright, you sure? Because I understand if you just want to stay home.’’ Zayn shakes his head again and mumbles that it’s fine. They tell each other their goodnights and then Justin leaves Zayn to be alone in the guest room again.

Zayn is filled with this weird wonderful feeling of delight that he can’t remember experiencing before. It’s just that talking to Justin made him feel kind of happy, at first he was a bit hesitant but he could see that Justin was really opening up to him. And even though Justin is a social butterfly, he’s a very nice person as well. And Zayn feels kind of relieved that he got to tell someone about something, it was like something was lifted of his shoulders.

Zayn went to lay down on the bed and closed his eyes. He stayed up for a minute thinking about his wish and if it were to come true and then after that he just drifted off to a nightmare free sleep. Justin on the other side of the house was sitting on his bed re-living the conversation he just had with Zayn and smiling to himself.


	4. Four.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly forgot that I published this story for everyone to read. So I'm sorry for the wait, to make it up I will double update. Feedback is appreciated. X
> 
> btw; please let me know if you know of someone else who writes Zustin as a ship.

Not even five hours later and both Justin and Zayn are already at the office. They both look terribly tired and feel like absolute crap but they are now way more comfortable with each other. Their other co-workers have noticed as well, not that Zayn is comfortable with other people he just feels slightly better when he’s with Justin.

Zayn walks into Justin’s office with two cups of coffee and puts both of them on Justin’s desk. He looks at Justin with a worried look, he feels bad that he made Zayn stay up with him till so late. It was obvious that Justin was already stressed and tired and Zayn has just made it worse. Justin glances up at him and smiles weakly and mumbles a thank you. Zayn nods back and sits on one of the chairs Justin has that he actually uses for guest.

‘’I’m currently busy with-‘’ ‘’Mr. Bieber, you have to come and see this!’’ Some colleague squeals excitedly, barging into the room randomly before dissappearing again. Justin and Zayn share looks for a second and then both get up and walk to the hallways to see Justin’s old-assistant Vanessa standing there with a baby in her arms and someone who is proably supposed to be her husband behind her. Justin’s face immediately softens at seeing the little baby boy who looks around a month or two.

‘’Vanessa! How have you been? You look great.’’ Justin says and gives her a hug. The brunette, Vanessa, is totally beaming from all the attention her baby is getting. All the co-workers are cooing at the little boy, who is adorably dressed in a blue onesie with a white hat.

‘’Look at this little man! May I? – Hmpf, gosh I can see that you’re already eating very well. You’ll be a big boy soon, won’t you? ‘’ Justin jokes with the small baby in his arms. He starts making little baby gurgling sounds and the baby makes a few noises making Justin beam with happiness. ‘’We’re by the way very thankful for everything you sent us. I swear it was way too much, but thank you so much Justin.’’ Justin smiles at her and shakes his head and puts his focus back on the baby again. It’s so obvious that he just has this instant connection with kids.

Zayn on the other hand is just cringing very hard at the baby. He can’t handle kids, especially not babies. He has heard too many of them, he would hear them cry their absolute eyes out because their mummy couldn’t feed them anymore. He could see how woman just abandoned their own baby because their survival chances would be bigger. He has seen so many baby’s die and to him they don’t look any different from this one.

So small and innocent, yet they were the first ones to be gassed. Together with their mum if their mum decided to stay with them. He glances at Justin again who is now with Jessica making funny voices so that the baby laughs, which it doesn’t but they don’t seem to care.

He looks at the baby and tries to muster up something that should resemble a smile. Vanessa walks up to him and smiles politely. ‘’Hey there, I’m Vanessa. I’m Justin’s old assistant, nice to meet you.’’ She says politely while shaking Zayn’s hand. ‘’’Zayn, nice to meet you.’’ Zayn mumbles quietly.

Vanessa follow Zayn’s to where Justin and Jessica are standing making silly faces. ‘’He’s such a bundle of joy. Everyone kept pushing me to have children, and to be honest at first I really didn’t want to. But after having him I immediately started planning on having three more.’’ Zayn just hums, not wanting to break her little bubble with his negativity.

‘’Oh, and would you just look at Justin – he would make an amazing father one day, don’t you think?’’ Vanessa asks, Zayn nods slowly. Jessica beams at that. ‘’With his Bieber genes he will have America’s cutest babies for sure!’’ Everyone makes a sound of agreement.

 Zayn frowns, for some reason he does not like the way Justin and Jessica are standing there looking so domestic with that – that baby. It really bothers him.

Justin smiles – his gorgeous all teeth-smile, ‘’That’s just another blessing that comes with being a Bieber I guess. But for now I’m focused on other things.’’ His eyes land on Zayn’s for a second making Zayn shift uncomfortably.

Justin lands a few more obnoxious kisses on the baby’s cheek before handing it to its mother. He chats a little more with Vanessa’s husband and talks to some other people before ordering everyone to go back to work.

 

‘’You don’t like children?’’ Justin asks when they’re back in his office. ‘’What makes you think that?’’ Zayn asks avoiding eye-contact.

‘’You looked at the baby like it was a freaking Gremlin.’’ Justin says in a kind of amused voice. ‘’I don’t know. I just don’t like them, I guess.’’ Justin looks at him with a frown. ‘’Why not? Everyone loves babies, they are so innocent and little. They’re a blank canvas waiting to be painted on.’’

Zayn knows that he doesn’t actually hate babies, he just can’t stand the thought of ever having one of his own. He wouldn’t know how to take care of it. ‘’Never mind.’’ He mumbles quietly and Justin drops the subject as well.

‘’They’re coming early by the way. The Italians are coming in a few days, actually.’’ Justin states matter of fact. Zayn’s eyes widen and he immediately gets his little black agenda. ‘’I-I’m so sorry I didn’t know. Alright we can go rehearse your speech or something? Whatever you want, Sir.’’ Justin shakes his head and takes a sip from his cold coffee.

‘’We have done everything we could to prepare. I think we should just see what happens.’’ Justin states while looking straight at Zayn. ‘’But, Sir… Are you sure that’s a good idea? I mean there are so many things that we can improve.’’

Justin nods at that. ‘’I know, but I also want to show them the company with its own personality, its own charm. And it’s their choice if they decide to make a deal with us or not.’’ Zayn nods and doesn’t argue any further. People can say a lot about Justin but when it comes to making business decisions he knows best.

‘’My gramps told me this morning, they’re to be expected in maybe four or five days. And we have been working on their arrival for exactly a month, so since you started working here actually.’’ Justin gets tired by the thought alone. ‘’So I’m treating us for dinner.’’

‘’Shouldn’t we celebrate after the deal?’’ Zayn asks slightly amused.

Justin shakes his head at that. ‘’Non sense, you have survived a month of my tyranny you deserve it.’’ Justin quickly realizes how this sounds like he is just trying to find an excuse to go on a date with Zayn, so he adds: ‘’And Gramps thought it was a good idea. I mean, you’re a hard worker and besides Gramps is coming along as well.’’

Zayn nods, even though he doesn’t really feel comfortable around the old man yet. ‘’Don’t worry, it’s nothing too fancy.’’ Justin adds making Zayn nod as he gets up to walk out of the office. ‘’We’ll leave around six. I’ll take you home as well.’’ Justin says, not even really asking. But Zayn doesn’t really mind, he actually kind of appreciates it.

Zayn walks over to his desk and sits down and gets out his notebook and scribbles some little things he has to get ready for the next few days. ‘’Do you know where the numbers of 1948 are?’’ Zayn looks up to see Niall standing in front of his desk with a bored look. ‘’I was looking at them while we were at Justin’s house. Maybe you took them?’’

Zayn nods and avoids Niall’s eyes and looks in his bag, even though he knows that he didn’t take them. ‘’I-I’m sorry I didn’t take them.’’ Zayn says with a shaky voice. Niall nods slowly and looks at Zayn with a suspicious look. ‘’Well, can you go look for them? I have other things to do.’’ Niall says dismissively not really looking at Zayn. Zayn hesitates but decides to speak up, at least tries to. ‘’I-I’m already… Eh, like already do-doing something for Mr. Bieber.’’ He says without a clear nervous tone in his voice. Why doesn’t Niall just ask his own assistant?

Zayn makes the mistake of saying that outloud.

Niall arches his eyebrow looking at Zayn with clear judgment. ‘’Mine is busy, that’s why I asked you.’’ He snaps making Zayn flinch, Zayn looks down at the ground his face totally flushed from embarrassment and a little bit because of fear. Niall stares at him to intimidate him and Zayn just stares uncomfortably at his table his hands shaking under his desk. He just wants to leave this situation desperately.

‘’Where are you even from?’’ Niall asks with suspicion written on his face. Zayn feels totally choked up and like he can burst into tears any moment. ‘’Great-Britain.’’ He spits out and looking at Niall for literally a semi-second. Niall snorts and folds his arms. ‘’Yes, you have the accent but your looks scream something different. I know people like you, they are the exact reason why our economy is the way it is. And Truman is not doing shit about it.’’ Niall spits at Zayn hatefully.

Zayn just frowns at that, and looks back up at Niall. ‘’I didn’t take your papers. I’m sorry.’’ He states quietly as to end the conversation and gets to leave and walk over to Justin’s office. He’s noticed that Niall isn’t as verbally abusive when Justin’s around. But Niall just stomps behind him and walks with him into Justin’s office. Justin looks up suprised from a small book he’s holding.

‘’You’re assistant took my fucking papers yesterday and is now lying about it.’’ Niall fumes while pointing an angry finger at Zayn. Zayn stands there uncomfortably since he knows that Niall and Justin have known each other a long time, so he might side with Niall on this one.

‘’Niall, you should not go around accusing people.’’ Justin says nonchalantly making Niall’s face even redder than it already is. Zayn just blankly looks at the scène that’s happening in front of him.

‘’I’m sure of it, Justin, he’s the only one who could’ve taken them.’’ Justin sighs and looks at Zayn for a second and then back at Niall. ‘’Okay, what papers are you talking about?’’ Justin asks not really amused by Niall throwing a fit over something so stupid. ‘’The ones with the numbers from 48’’’ Niall answers sourly.

‘’Oh, those. Yeah, I took them when you were asleep. Sorry buddy, I should’ve told you.’’ Justin says with a smirk on his face. Niall becomes bright red, but this time with embarrassment. He mumbles something about already having that idea. ‘’So you wanna grab a beer on the way home?’’ Niall asks, to change the subject. ‘’No, I can’t. I’m having dinner with gramps and Zayn here – Who you by the way owe an apology.’’ Niall turns around to look at Zayn and Zayn just innocently looks back.

‘’I know you have quite the unprofessional relationship with your colleagues, especially your assistants. But don’t you think that’s kind of inappropriate?’’ Niall asks as if Zayn isn’t even in the room. Justin raises his eyebrow at Niall. ‘’I don’t know what you’re talking about. I went out with Vanessa all the time?’’

‘’Yeah. But that’s different, she’s a woman. Everyone thought you were flirting with her, that was until we found out that she was pregnant.’’ Justin smiles bitterly at Niall. ‘’I know, y’all think you’re slick?’’ Niall sighs and looks at Justin with an intent look. ‘’I’m just saying buddy. You’re getting quite old and you still haven’t gotten yourself a wifey. Think about it’’ Niall says and then just leaves.

Justin looks bitterly at the place where Niall just stood. He clenches his fists for a second, but takes a deep breath and looks at Zayn and smiles. ‘’I didn’t take his papers, but I know you didn’t do it either.’’ Zayn gasps quietly, Justin just lied because he believed him. ‘’Did he say anything else beside that thing about the paper?’’ Justin asks and looks with concerned eyes at Zayn.

Zayn wants to tell him about Niall’s obvious racism and the way he looks down on Zayn, but honestly Zayn does not want to bother Justin with that. And besides he has experienced worse. So Zayn shakes his head no. ‘’I don’t really appreciate you lying to me. But I understand, don’t let anything he says get to you though.’’ Justin says with a sigh, looking right through Zayn.

‘’He’s just so small minded, he’s a good guy though.’’ Justin says and Zayn just nods even though he doesn’t really believe it. Kauffman did the exact same thing, only he had way more power than Niall.

 

After a few hours of working and chatting, Justin doing the most talking, Justin and Zayn are sitting in a nice restaurant with Justin’s grandfather and Jessica who apparantly was invited last-minute.

‘’How are you guys dealing with the Italians coming early?’’ Justin’s grandfather asks while looking up from his menu in his hands to look at Zayn and Jessica who are sitting across him. ‘’Justin and Zayn have been busy like crazing. Whatever happens, they worked very hard and diligently.’’ Jessica says with a smile.

Justin’s grandfather nods. ‘’I know, and whatever happens I’m proud of you. Both of you.’’ Justin’s grandfather says and looks at both Zayn and Justin.

‘’It’s nothing gramps, and don’t worry. I’ll make it happen.’’ Justin says confidently, his grandfather nods. ‘’I know you will make it Justin, but I’m just saying; I’ll keep being proud of you.’’ His grandfather mumbles making Justin smile, you can clearly see that they have a great relationship.

‘’Alright so are we ready to order? I’m treating everyone.’’

‘’Gramps, you don’t have to. I was going to.’’

‘’Shut up Justin. Where is our waiter?’’ After the waiter arrives and everyone has ordered everyone just starts chatting. ‘’So, Justin are you ready to take over from your grandfather? You have a legacy to hold up, you know.’’ Jessica comments making Zayn look at Justin who looks oddly very insecure. ‘’Yeah, well gramps is doing a great job. And I’m sure he will for a few more years.’’ The old man laughs at what Justin says.

‘’Thank you, Justin, but Jessica is right. Look at me,’’ The old man points at himself, he has aged well but it’s obvious that he’s old and tired. ‘’I’m getting old, you know. And of course I won’t be around forever.’’ Justin’s grandfather says while smiling and looking at his grand-son. Justin doesn’t look too excited anymore and just takes a sip from his wine.

‘’I’m sure you’ll do great Justin. Everyone in the office will support you.’’ Jessica says in her cheery voice. Zayn wants to snort at that but just keeps quiet. The other people in the office may seem nice and stuff, but they all talk shit about Justin behind his back. It’s not that Justin doesn’t know or anything. Zayn and Justin share looks but both of them keep quiet. ‘’They better be.’’ Justin’s grandfather said sourly.

Later their food arrives and they’re talking about a topic that Zayn despises; politics. ‘’Damn Truman! I adored Roosevelt but Truman? He’s not looking out for our country.’’ Justin’s grandfather grumbles while cutting his steak. ‘’Are you saying you like that communism then, gramps?’’ Justin asks challenging. ‘’Oh, stop it boy. You know I can’t stand that Stalin guy. They had to bomb them instead of those Japanese cities, would’ve made an end to that communism.’’

‘’Actually Russia has a lot of nuclear weapons as well, so they’re quite the threat.’’ Jessica states making Justin’s grandfather raise an eyebrow at her. ‘’Please woman, we’re America. Those Russians just found out about agriculture, don’t put your nose in politics.’’ He says dismissively. Jessica just shuts up making Zayn feel bad for her since he knows that she’s actually right.

‘’Truman is just putting his nose where it doesn’t belong. Take the situation in South-Korea, he’s sending our American boys. All this war-equipment costs a load of money. And you know who is paying for that? The American citizens! It should be a crime.’’ Justin’s grandfather shakes his head in a disapproving way.

Jessica talks a bit to Zayn while Justin and his grandfather keep discussing politics. It’s all what people talk about now-a-days.

 ‘’Pardon me, I have to go home. A few friends of mine are coming over, thank you so much Mr. Bieber. Have a goodnight everyone!’’ Jessica says and waves at everyone and then walks away, looking beautiful in her long red dress with matching red lips. ‘’Goodnight, my darling. Be safe.’’ Justin’s grandfather smiles at her and waves.

‘’Such a lovely woman, don’t you think Justin?’’ Justin just nods and mumbles a yes. Zayn suddenly feels uncomfortable he feels like this conversation isn’t meant for his ears. He desperately wants to leave, but since Justin is his ride he’ll have to wait. ‘’Look, Justin. I talked to her –‘’ ‘’God, no you didn’t. Did you?’’ Justin groans and puts his face in his hands.

‘’Yes, I did. Listen son, she’s such a beautiful woman. She’s a real lady, she has manners and she’s very friendly. What else do you want in a woman?’’ Justin’s grandfather asks desperately. Justin just sighs and takes another sip from his wine. ‘’Justin, please, like I said; I’m not going to be around forever. And the only thing that I want before I die is to see my oldest grandson find the love of his life. That’s it.’’ Justin looks at his grandfather and then nods.

‘’Okay, I’ll take her somewhere and we’ll see what happens.’’ Justin says, it’s obvious that he’s just doing it to please his grandfather. Zayn looks at the situation before him and the annoyed feeling from before is back, but this time stronger. Why would his grandfather force him to be with someone he doesn’t even like?

Zayn knows that’s not the real reason why he’s annoyed, but it makes things easier in his head. Admitting that it’s because he’s jealous would just make everything a mess in his head again. ‘’I’m sure you two would be very cute together.’’ He says trying to say it nonchalanty but it comes out a bit bitter. ‘’See! A guy as handsome as he is should know!’’ Justin’s grandfather says with a bright smile. Justin says nothing and just stares back at Zayn with a challenging look.

Zayn ignores it.

 

 

‘’I hope you had fun. I’m sorry about gramps.’’ Justin later says after they said goodbye to his grandfather. Zayn shakes his head as to say that it doesn’t matter. ‘’I’m glad though because he seems to like you.’’ Justin says while putting his seatbelt on, Zayn does the same thing.

‘’Are you really going to take Jessica out?’’ Zayn asks quietly and immediately regretting it when Justin looks at him. ‘’Yeah, I’m just doing it for gramps though. But knowing him, he probably already convinced her that we’re getting married. But no, I’m going to stay single for a while.’’

Zayn nods and tries to hide his blush. ‘’Well, I do really believe that you two would make a good couple.’’ Zayn says, lying through his teeth. ‘’You do?’’ Justin asks while looking him straight in the eyes. Zayn nods and Justin just keeps looking at him. ‘’I told you earlier already that I didn’t appreciate you lying to me.’’ Justin says playfully with a small smile making Zayn blush again.

He then starts the car and they drive in silence to Zayn’s apartment. After half an hour of driving they arrive at Zayn’s house and Justin decides to get out of the car as well and walks with Zayn to the front door. Zayn looks at Justin with his brown hair a little ruffled in his dark blue suit looking handsome as hell. Zayn himself just wore a plain white button-up with some suspenders and plain black  dress up-pants.

‘’Thank you, for everything.’’ Zayn says with a little smile. Justin just smiles back and says nothing. ‘’Can I tell you a secret?’’ Justin whispers in Zayn’s ear even though there’s no one around to hear them. Zayn gets goose bumps all over his body but doesn’t push him away, he nods slowly. ‘’I actually don’t want to be the CEO of our company.’’ Justin says quietly.

Zayn nods not really understanding, but also not interrupting him. ‘’I love gramps to death, and he’s my hero. But I just don’t think I’m the right person to be in such a position.’’ Justin sighs silently and leans against Zayn’s door. ‘’But I can’t let him down. He’d be devastated if he knew that his company would go to some stranger.’’

‘’May I now tell you a secret?’’ Zayn asks quietly whereas Justin nods. ‘’I believe that if you set your mind to it, that you would do great.’’ Justin smiles sadly and looks up to the dark sky for a second. ‘’Thanks, but when gramps is gone there will not be that many people to support me in my decisions. They’ll see them as reckless and stupid, I’m just scared to death that I’ll ruin everything that my gramps worked so hard for.’’

‘’You don’t need those people, you should trust your guts. I’ve been here a month and even I have seen that you can make decisions better than anyone in the office.’’ Zayn says looking up to Justin. ‘’And… I’ll always respect your decisions if that means anything to you.’’ Zayn adds quietly.

Justin looks down at the raven-haired boy and smiles brightly. ‘’Yeah, that does mean something to me. Thank you, Zayn.’’ And then a silence falls, Zayn looks up to the sky and he embraces this warm feeling that he is feeling right now. Justin looks at Zayn, his eyes flickering from his warm eyes to his plump lips. Zayn catches him staring and starts blushing.

Justin just smiles at him and doesn’t stop staring. ‘’I think I should be heading home now. Gramps has probably gone back to the office.’’ Zayn nods and mumbles a small goodnight. ‘’Goodnight, Zayn.’’ Justin says before leaving.

Zayn walks inside his apartment and lets himself fall on the couch. He puts his face under the pillows to make himself stop grinning like an idiot. He gets up when he notices that his house phone is ringing. It’s probably the office since no one else calls him. It was a gift from the company when he started working there. He hasn’t used it yet.

‘’Hello?’’

On the other line he hears something that makes his heart drop to his stomach and he immediately runs outside to see Justin sitting in his car ready to leave. He looks at Justin with tears in his eyes and Justin immediately gets out of the car and rushes over to Zayn. ‘’Zayn, what’s going on? What happened?’’

‘’J-Justin…’’


	5. Five.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for any grammar mistakes (or odd word choices), English is not my first-language and I would not consider myself fluent.

On the other line he hears something that makes his heart drop to his stomach and he immediately runs outside to see Justin sitting in his car ready to leave. He looks at Justin with tears in his eyes and Justin immediately gets out of the car and rushes over to Zayn. ‘’Zayn, what’s going on? What happened?’’

‘’J-Justin…’’

 

Justin stomps down the white halls of the hospital in desperate search of the room the woman behind the desk gave him. His eyes red rimmed from the silent crying he did. His hands still shaky from hearing what happened, still not being able to wrap his head around it. Eventually he finds the room and he rushes inside but is hold back by two doctors.

‘’I’m sorry, but we can’t let you in right now. Mr. Bieber is in a critical condition.’’ One of the doctors says in a calm voice. Justin slaps their hands off of him, and glares at both of them. ‘’I don’t care, I need to see him. How is he? How could this have happened!’’ He asks with angry tears in his eyes. ‘’We’re going to have to ask you to wait in the waiting room, Sir. Otherwise, we’ll be forced to call security.’’

‘’Justin, please, it’ll be fine. Let’s just go, you won’t be able to help him if you get kicked out.’’ Zayn reasons and puts his hand on Justin’s shoulder. Justin seems to think about that for a second before he backs off. Together they walk to the waiting room where there hangs a very depressive mood.

The only person there is an old woman who is clutching her purse against her chest. Zayn and Justin sit down, Justin’s hands still balled up into fists. He looks around wondering how this could’ve happened. He should’ve been there for his gramps, he could’ve stopped this.

‘’I’m sorry.’’ Zayn says and Justin looks over at him, how he is looking at the ground in shame. ‘’You should’ve just gone home with your grandfather. I-I can’t explain how sorry I am.’’ Zayn says with tears glistering in his eyes. Justin says nothing, he wants to say that it’s not Zayn’s fault but he knows that if he speaks that his voice will break. And he’s not about to break down with Zayn sitting next to him.

He shouldn’t have let Zayn come with him. He just sighs and closes his eyes and doing something he hasn’t done since his father died. He clasps his hands together and prays. Prays for his grandfather to be fine, for forgiveness and also for Zayn.

Zayn just blankly stares at him and wait till he’s done. If he knows one thing, it is that if Justin’s grandfather is really dying there’s no one that will change that. When Justin’s done he quietly unclasps his hands at puts a hand through his hair. His face has totally lost all colour and he’s very quiet. Zayn feels guilty but says nothing because he doesn’t want to make anything worse.

So he just back in his chair tries to stay awake since he’s quite tired. But after half an hour he falls asleep. Justin looks over at Zayn who looks very peaceful when he’s asleep. Justin smiles to himself but immediately scolds at himself for thinking about Zayn like that when his grandfather is in such a critical condition.

He shouldn’t think about Zayn like that at all. But something inside him tells him that Zayn likes him as well, even if it’s a little bit. He remembers the first day Zayn walked the office in, Justin was immediately drawn to him. Justin is not going to lie, it were his looks that drew him in the first place.

From his very feminine looking eyelashes to his plump lips and his very pale skin. Justin has never seen someone who is as beautiful as Zayn is, no girl could come even remotely close. And it didn’t help that Zayn was also very submissive, he was basically perfect. He tried to not make it too obvious, but later at that Christmas party when Zayn was just sitting there in his black blouse and trousers Justin couldn’t help himself.

 Zayn’s laying against Justin and Justin can feel the butterflies in his stomach but he can’t focus on them too much since he can’t help the anxious feeling in his stomach that’s there as well. His gramps is his everything, he knows that his grandfather is old but he cannot die yet. He is super healthy for someone his age.

After two hours Justin’s sitting slumped in the chair with Zayn laying against him. Justin has put his jacket around Zayn as a little blanket. He is staring straight forward when a nurse comes walking in. ‘’Mr. Bieber, your grandfather is totally stable again and ready for visitors.’’ Justin tries to get up without waking Zayn but Zayn immediately wakes up when he feels Justin moving. He looks around with a sleepy face and tries to get up.

‘’Ssh, Zayn, just go back to sleep. I’ll be right back, okay?’’ Justin assures him quietly. The nurse looks at Zayn with an endearing look, he looks like a confused puppy. Zayn shakes his head and gets up. ‘’No, I’m coming with you.’’ He says quietly and gets up. Justin sighs quietly but doesn’t fight him too much, he just wants to see his grandfather now.

They follow the nurse who takes them to Justin’s grandfathers room. ‘’We just got him stable again, so please don’t work him up too much.’’ She says before opening the door for them and then leaving. Justin basically sprints in and tears appear in his eyes when he sees his grandfather like that. He hurries to the hospital bed and hugs his grandfather and whispers something in his grandfather’s ear.

‘’This absolutely absurd, they won’t even let me have a damn smoke.’’ Justin’s grandfather groans and Justin smiles at that. ‘’What happened?’’ Justin’s grandfather grimaces and sighs quietly. ‘’Okay, Justin, I’m going to tell you but when I do I don’t want you to go all crazy on your colleagues tomorrow. Okay?’’ Justin frowns, now even more confused.

‘’Someone pushed me from the stairs.’’ Justin and Zayn’s eyes become huge. Justin’s grandfather may be strict but he is very loved in the office. Why would someone do that? ‘’Whoever did it probably wanted me dead.’’ Justin makes his hands into fists, someone tried to hurt his gramps and he’s fuming. ‘’I’m going to fucking kill them.’’

‘’Yes, well, I don’t know who it was so.’’ Justin’s grandfather states with a grim expression. ‘’I don’t fucking care! I’ll just go and look who was in the office and see who it was.’’

‘’Justin, it’s not worth it. We’re in the middle of a very important deal right now, we’ll deal with it in a week or so.’’ That doesn’t calm Justin down for even a bit. The thought that someone tried to take away his family frightens him. What would he have done if they actually succeeded.

‘’And about the deal… I want you to welcome them tomorrow in name of our company. I’m not able to do it.’’ Justin’s eyes become huge. He is going to do the whole thing by himself? He knew he had to talk with them a little bit and give them a little presentation but that’s different from leading the whole thing.

‘’I trust in you Justin, and if I could do it myself I would. But I can’t.’’ Justin really doesn’t want to do it but he’s not about to let his grandfather down, not in moments like this. ‘’You can count on me gramps.’’

‘’And Zayn, I’m sorry that Justin dragged you with him. Very unlike him. But I’m glad you’re here, I hope you can help Justin tomorrow and do your best to make it go as smoothly as possible.’’ Zayn nods, he’ll do everything in his power to help Justin. ‘’Of course, Mr. Bieber.’’

‘’I know, you two are not supposed to expect them tomorrow. But tomorrow is like a private meeting, just to have them over and chit chat a bit. Show them around a little, Justin will put on his Bieber charm and everything will be fine.’’ Justin’s grandfather assures them. Justin nods and is about to sit down on the chair next to his grandfathers bed.

‘’Get your ass up boy and go home. I don’t want you wasting anymore time here, I’m basically useless now so let me be. I’ll be alright, I have the lovely nurses.’’ Justin is about to put up a fight when his grandfather interrupts him again. ‘’Justin, please. I know you’re worried, but I’ll be fine. I suggest you two go stay at my old house, so that you can go over some things in the morning.’’

Justin nods and gives his grandfather another hug before walking towards the door. Justin’s grandfather nods Zayn goodbye and watches them leave. ‘’I love you, son.’’ He says making Justin smile and he mouths the words back. Zayn smiles at their relationship, they’re just so cute. He loves how they honestly care about each other and they don’t really care what others think about them.

When they’re back in the car Justin sighs deeply. ‘’I can’t believe someone did that to gramps. I swear to god, if I find it who did it…’’ Zayn says nothing and just looks at Justin with a concerned look. ‘’I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. It’s just I won’t let get anyone away with hurting the people I care about, you know what I mean?’’ Zayn nods even though he has no idea what he means. When Justin notices that that’s all Zayn’s going to say he sighs and starts the car.

After trying to talk to Zayn and Zayn giving him just short answers Justin frowns. ‘’Please, don’t stop talking to me right now. Not now when we need to communicate the most.’’ Zayn looks up at Justin and frowns as well. ‘’I-I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to, I had not much to say I guess. I didn’t mean to offend you.’’

Justin swears at himself for upsetting Zayn again. ‘’No, Zee, it’s just… Never mind.’’ Justin says and Zayn is quiet again.

When they arrive and they’re home again they walk in and both sit down on the sofa. Justin has made tea for them and they’re both quiet now. ‘’I’m quiet because I’m nervous, and I know it’s probably nothing compared to what you’re feeling right now. But I’m still feeling very anxious, you know?’’ Zayn says breaking the silence.

Justin nods slowly. ‘’Don’t worry about it, I understand. It’s also a lot of pressure on you, and I know I shouldn’t be asking you to do this. You can always tell me if you feel like this is too much, I can always ring someone else to help.’’ Justin knows that Zayn is having a rough time, he just knows. There is something troubling him, and it might be that his best friend is dead but something tells him it’s more than that.

Zayn shakes his head. Justin’s grandfather asked him for help, and he is not about to let that old man down. He is going to give it his everything he got, it’s going to be stressful he knows and he is going to have to communicate better tomorrow. It’s going to be difficult though. ‘’N-No, it’s fine. I can handle it.’’

Zayn continues, ‘’It’s just, it’s hard to talk to people for me you know?’’ Justin nods slowly not totally understanding. He has always been surrounded by loud and outspoken people. ‘’But you’re talking to me, right? If you talk to them the same way you talk to me then everything will be fine.’’ Zayn shakes his head and fiddles with his hands. ‘’No, it’s different with you.’’

That makes Justin’s heart flutter. He is not stupid of course he has noticed that Zayn talks more to him than anyone in particular but hearing him admit that he’s different from the others in the office makes him proud. For some weird reason.

‘’How so?’’ Zayn blushes and looks down to hide his flushed cheeks. Justin is now directly staring at him and it makes him feel funny to see his eyes looking so intently at his own.

‘’I just feel more comfortable around you. I still stutter sometimes, but I know that you won’t actually hurt me.’’ He says trying to phrase so it makes sense. ‘’But no one would dare to hurt you. If they did I would fire them, immediately.’’ Justin actually is in no power to fire someone from their office but if someone was going around hurting people he obviously would use the privileges he has.

Hearing Justin say that makes Zayn blush only more, Justin notices that and grins. ‘’Don’t worry too much about the talking tomorrow. I won’t put the spotlight on you too much, and if things make you feel uncomfortable just remember; I’ve always got your back.’’ Zayn smiles at that and nods. ‘’Thank you, Mr. Bieber.’’

‘’Call me, Justin.’’ Justin says and grins looking at Zayn. ‘’You’ve done it before.’’ Zayn turns red from embarrassment and tries to think back. He would never have the actual guts to call his boss by his first name. ‘’You did it today, after the phone call. I don’t think you noticed.’’

Zayn swears at himself for letting himself go like that. ‘’I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.’’ Justin shakes his head mumbling that it’s fine. ‘’I’d rather have you call me Justin anyways, it feels more personal.’’

‘’You’re my boss though.’’

‘’Yeah, well, I think that after sleeping together you may as well call me Justin.’’ Zayn’s face flushes again when he hears the suggestive mistake. But Justin doesn’t seem to notice, or he acts like he doesn’t notice. The older man may just wanted to see how Zayn would react to the idea.

The younger boy just looks bashful and he doesn’t look disgusted by the idea, but Justin can’t tell either if he would like something like that. ‘’What?’’ Justin asks as innocently as possible, Zayn stammers in gibberish but eventually mumbles ‘’nothing’’. Making Justin smirk widely.

‘’You look tired, you should go to sleep.’’ Zayn does look tired indeed but he actually wants to stay up with the older gentleman since he is actually enjoying his company. ‘’I don’t wanna.’’ Zayn says with a playful pout, making Justin’s heart race even faster. Why did he have to do that?

‘’Well, tough luck. I’m going to make you something to eat and then take you to bed.’’ Justin says faking a stern voice. ‘’I’m not hungry, I wanna stay up though.’’ Zayn says in whiney voice with his lips still in a goddamn pout. Justin wants to kiss him so badly, but god he cannot risk something like that right now.

‘’That’s okay but I’m literally going to drag you, if you don’t get up.’’ Justin says warning the raven haired boy. Justin gets up and looks at Zayn expecting him to do the same as well, Zayn just sticks his tongue out at him making Justin laugh. ‘’God, you’re getting way too comfortable with me. I’m your boss, remember?’’ He asks jokingly.

‘’We’re not at work now.’’ Justin sighs and lifts Zayn up and puts him over his shoulder. Zayn makes a little surprised noise but other than that he doesn’t really fight Justin. Justin notices how surprisingly light Zayn is for someone his age. But he says nothing since he doesn’t want to offend the smaller boy. ‘’I warned you, didn’t I?’’ Justin says while walking towards his own room and throws Zayn on the giant king-size bed.

‘’That was kind of fun.’’ Zayn giggles, making Justin’s heart flutter again. Justin goes to his closet and gets one of his plain white t-shirts and hands them to Zayn. ‘’I’m going to the bathroom to change as well.’’ He says quietly and Zayn nods appreciating that Justin is giving him privacy.

Once in the bathroom Justin takes off his suit and puts on some pyjama pants. He is not that worried about wearing a shirt to bed since he feels more comfortable like this. Justin walks out of the bathroom and walks to his own bedroom again, but knocking of course before coming in.

When Justin walks in he sees Zayn sitting on his bed wearing one of his white shirts that might as well be a dress for him. Justin sits down on the bed, not really making a move to sleep in the bed. ‘’This is your own room, isn’t it?’’ Zayn comments looking at the pictures on the wall. Justin nods. ‘’Yeah, but it has the most comfortable bed, so you can have it.’’

‘’B-But you need it the most tomorrow. I can sleep in one of the guest rooms.’’ Zayn says quietly making Justin shake his head. ‘’Nonsense, you’re a guest and the rooms suck. You should have it, I’m fine.’’

‘’But you’re my boss and this is your bed.’’ Zayn argues. ‘’I thought we weren’t at work, and there is no hierarchy in the Bieber house you said.’’

‘’Just go to bed, Zee, I’ll be fine.’’ Justin says quietly and smiles at Zayn. Zayn’s heart stutters again when hearing the pet name but it feels good, he smiles back at Justin. ‘’Sweet dreams, Justin.’’

‘’Sweet dreams, Zee.’’

_I can’t do this anymore, I literally can’t. I’m exhausted, I’m frightened and I can’t even think straight anymore. We were supposed to have dinner but I was in the back of the line and before I got in front everything was already gone, I was slowly going mental and I couldn’t stand looking at myself. My ribs were almost visible and it was not a pretty sight._

_With a desperate face I’m looking straightforward wondering what the hell I’m going to do now. I have been here now for two months and I can’t anymore, I just can’t. I know for sure that if I go to work tomorrow and I know I’ve been assigned to do hard labour, I will not come out of it alive. I will die from exhaustion, I want to cry but for some reason I’m not able to._

_Tomorrow will be the end of me, it could be a selection that I’m not going to pass and they’ll send me to the gas chambers. Or it could be that I pass out during work and they just simply shoot me, I don’t know which one is worse._

_I’m not a Muselmann yet, but I’m not far from being one of them. Around me I can see that other men have the exact same desperation in their eyes. For some of them it’s obviously already too late, and I’m wondering if that’s also for me. Is it too late? And then I remember the words Kauffman spoke to me a few weeks back._

_I look over at the guards and see Kauffman leaning against one of the barracks smoking with a colleague not having a single care in the world. And in that moment looking at Kauffman who is smoking and talking about nonsense I make my decision. I’m going to make the deal with the devil himself. So I decide to stare at Kauffman, it won’t take long before he notices me. Everyone knows that if Kauffman notices you staring you’re basically dead._

_But I know that he wants something for me, so I hope that he’ll just hear me out. I keep staring at Kauffman and eventually his cold blue eyes land on mine as well. He smirks, just like the devil would. And he walks over to me. ‘’Let’s go for a walk pretty boy.’’ He says in his flawless German._

_I get up and see how the other inmates are looking at me with a blank stare. Some of them have pity in their eyes but most of them are already not paying attention anymore. They already consider me dead. I get up and start walking, the other guards are laughing at me. I’m not sure what to expect, from him. Is he actually going to shoot me? Or will he hear me out?_

_‘’I know you’re not stupid enough to get yourself killed like this.’’ Kauffman starts when we’re away from the others he stops walking altogether making me stop as well. I make myself look him in the eyes, which makes him smirk. ‘’We’re feeling brave today, I see.’’ He says, not looking angry rather but rather more amused._

_I take a deep breath and say in my best German; ‘’I-I want to repay you-you … For what you did for me.’’ Kauffman nods slowly not keeping his eyes from me. He has been helping me through these past weeks, I just know he has. Guards have surprisingly not even looked at me much, let alone touch me. He also has made sure that I got more cleaning duty, rather than heavy labour._

_But of course he can’t keep me from doing heavy labour forever, and the food thing is also a problem. Something inside me is telling me that he knew that I was going to come to him eventually. Everyone in the barracks always mocks him for being an idiot, but I feel like he isn’t as stupid as everyone says._

_‘’You want to repay me. And you want even more, am I correct?’’ He asks it with so much power in his voice that I’m practically shaking again. Should I even be asking this? Is he going to get upset all of a sudden and torture me? Nonetheless I still nod slowly. ‘’You remember what I told you last time? I said; ‘’I will want something in return and when the day comes that I ask that thing, you will give it to me. No fighting back’’.’’ He recites perfectly as if he has been waiting for this._

_I nod slowly not having forgotten. ‘’I remember, and I won’t fight back. Whatever you want.’’ That seems to satisfy him. ‘’You’ll be sent back to your barracks in about fifteen minutes. I will make someone fetch you for me in about an hour. Understood?’’ I nod slowly feeling the anxiety bubble up in my stomach._

_‘’Good, see you in a hour pretty boy.’’ He says before walking away, leaving me alone. Not realizing I have just made the biggest mistake of my life, and I would come to regret it forever._

_‘’A-2811, the Führer-Kommandant want to see you.’’ One of the Kapo’s say and I immediately get up from my wooden bed that I share with four others and walk over to the guy waiting for me. Fun fact: All the barracks are led by Kapo’s, Kapo’s are also prisoners but they are labelled ‘’dangerous criminals’’. They could even be Jewish, but one thing that you know for sure about them is that they are as cruel as they come. Some come even close to Kaufman’s level, most of them have done horrendous things to earn the position._

_The man in front of me is not even pushing me to my surprise. I look down at my feet and walk towards the front of the camp where the exit is, and where a sort huge apartment is built. That’s where all the guards stay, at least all but one of them. Kauffman stays at a big house (more a small villa) on top of a hill, he can look over the whole camp._

_The house is purposefully placed on top of hill because Kauffman likes to shoot people from his bedroom window. He does it every morning. It’s nerve racking to wake up at six in the morning and then stand there and wait to be counted knowing that there is a psycho with a gun behind you who can shoot you at any moment._

_It’s like his morning routine, he likes to joke._

_‘’You made Kauffman mad, boy?’’ I look at the Kapo with a confused look, making him laugh.  ‘’I’ve been asked to bring you to Kauffman’s, I can tell you he is one sadistic motherfucker. That’s also why I’m not tormenting you, I’m letting Satan do that himself.’’ He says laughing._

_I know he’s doing that to frighten me, and it works it’s making me want to piss myself. I know that Kauffman is cruel but I don’t have a choice, he’s my last shot at life. And I’m not about to give up, I just want this bloody war to be over already._

_We take a turn to one of the workplaces called ‘’Kamp Kanada’’, I know that’s where they bring all the belongings from inmates before they go into the camp. Then it’s sorted by inmates, mostly Kapo’s, and sent to the Third Reich aka Germany. I know that it’s the best place to work at since you can steal food there, and you can do it easily without being caught._

_But almost only Kapo’s work there, so I have never been inside. ‘’I’ve been ordered to have you shower and change into other clothes. From here on a guard will be waiting for you, have fun in hell.’’ He says with a mean smirk before he walks away._

_I enter Kamp Kanada and look around. Photos, dresses, golden teeth, wedding rings, glasses and a lot of other stuff. I look around totally appalled by the sight but run towards the shower when I hear someone bonking on the door and screaming at me to hurry the hell up._

_After showering in a cold shower and putting on the clothes I was given I look at myself in the mirror and tear up a little. I see the boy that I was back in England, maybe a little thinner but I can finally see myself again. I feel like the buzz cut is actually a pretty alright look._

_I sigh quietly feeling stupid for thinking about something like that._

_I walk outside and the guard takes me to the hill where he knocks on the door and an lady with hollow cheeks and a big blue bruise on her face opens the door. The guard is already walking away and barking at me to go inside. The lady closes the door behind me and orders me to go upstairs. ‘’He has been waiting, and he doesn’t like waiting. He’s on the third floor the first bedroom on the right.’’ She says quietly with a shaky voice._

_I frown when I look at all her bruises, he probably took it out on her. I nod at her and thank her before I walk upstairs. Eventually I’m standing there and I take a deep breath and knock on the door. I can feel myself shaking and I’m ready to throw up, even though I have nothing in my stomach to actually throw up._

_‘’I swear to god, you fucking bitch if that’s you again I’ll fucking murder you!’’ He screams in German making me almost piss my new clothes._

_I guess that’s my cue to go in._

_I open the door and look at a very frustrated Kauffman who is standing by the window with a German Shepard at his feet. I look at him with a nervous look but he has luckily already calmed down. ‘’Finally.’’ He sighs and he walks towards me but stops in the middle of the gigantic room._

_The room by the way is beautiful, Victorian styled with a hint of classical Greece. Kauffman himself is wearing a white blouse with brown trousers. ‘’Where are my manners? Zayn, please, sit.’’ He says surprising me that he’s using my actual name. But I’m more surprised that he knows my name._

_Kauffman kneels and ruffles the dog’s hair. ‘’This is Heidi, she’s my best friend.’’ He says smiling at the German Shepard._

_I sit down and I’m still a little bit sick because of the nerves. He seems cool at the moment, but the thing is, that I know that he can explode any second. He comes and sits next to me on the Victorian styled couch and throws his arm over my shoulder making my skin crawl. ‘’Do you know why I called you here Zayn?’’ He asks quietly and bites my ear. ‘’I needed to repay you.’’ I manage to get out._

_‘’Yeah, you did need to repay me. But you know why I helped you specifically? I think you do know that right?’’ He asks his face still way too close to me for my comfort. I shake my head, he breathes out and I can feel his breath tickle my throat._

_‘’That’s because you’re the finest piece of ass I have ever seen. I have never seen someone look so fine while being in the Camp.’’ I knew he was going to say something like that but I was still very shocked and didn’t know what to say. ‘’And I have helped you these past weeks, haven’t I?’’ I nod slowly, not really trusting my voice at the moment._

_‘’I have, haven’t I? And now it’s time for you to give that all back and way more. Get on your knees.’’ My eyes become wide and I’m totally frozen, I try to move but I can’t. I don’t know what to do._

_‘’I-I-I’’ The tears are starting to well up in my eyes. ‘’Did I fucking stutter!? Get on your fucking knees if you want to see the day of tomorrow.’’ He yells and pushes me off the couch, his vibe having changed completely._

_I fall on the ground but I’m too scared to move which makes him even more angry and the tears are now rolling over my cheeks. ‘’I-I’m seventeen, I’m just – please just don’t!’’ I want to scream but only a choking sound is coming out of my throat. Next thing I knowI feel his fist hit my right cheek, making me see stars for a second._

_I’m now full on balling my eyes out, saying I’m sorry telling him that I don’t know what to do. Kauffman looks like he is ready to tear me apart but he stops and calms himself down. Blood is dripping from my face and I don’t know where it’s coming from since my whole face hurts._

_‘’Okay, shut up. Come here.’’ He says, I’m still not moving so he picks me up and puts me on his lap._

_For some reason he is totally calm now, but I’m still crying and I don’t know if I can stop anymore. ‘’Hey, okay, I’m sorry. Just, calm down and stop crying. We made a deal, didn’t we?’’ I nod my head while crying silently. He looks like he has about to say something else but stops himself and puts his hands through his hair out of frustration. ‘’Yes, okay, I cannot deal with this right now. I’m going to kill you if I stay here any longer. So I’m going to go for a smoke, okay? And when I’m back I want you to be ready.’’ He says like he’s talking to a four year old._

_He gets up and puts me back on the couch. ‘’Cry, scream, do whatever you want. Get it out of your system, but when I get back I am fucking you.’’ He says coldly before walking away and slamming the door behind him. Leaving me there with Heidi who is looking at me curiously. When he is gone I just start sobbing again, this time harder not knowing what to do, I thought I could handle it I thought I really could._

_My whole face is flushed and after a few minutes the lady from before walks in and puts down a plate. ‘’Please, eat.’’ She says before starting to leave again. ‘’And just do whatever he asks, don’t make this harder than it already is. I think he likes you, take advantage of that.’’ She whispers before leaving again. Her saying that makes me just cry harder, I don’t want this anymore. I can’t do this anymore._

_After five minutes I look up and look at the plate. It’s filled with meat, potatoes and eggs. I stop sobbing for a second and get up to walk towards it to look at it._

_Is that really meat and are those really potatoes? Or did he punch me so hard that I am imagining things?_

_Before I know it I start propping it all in my mouth trying to savour the taste of it all, I don’t know when the next time will be when I get to eat good food again. It doesn’t take long for me to be full, when your body hits starvation mode it cannot take large portions of food anymore since it’s not used to it._

_I look at the plate, what if I decided to not think about this from an emotional point of view? If I just do it, he’ll probably give me more food and have me over more often. However if I keep acting like I just did he will probably just simply shoot me._

_‘’Am I really going to stoop that low?’’ I mumble to myself, I look back at the plate. I mean really it’s only a survival mechanism. I need to do this if I wanna get out of this alive._

_I get up and clean myself up with some towels real quick before walking outside the room and walk towards the balcony. I see Kauffman standing there with a sour look on his face, cigar in his mouth. I walk towards him making him turn around and look at me with a suspicious look on his face. I just smile weakly and put my hand on his arm. ‘’I’m ready.’’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so I'm facing a dilemma. I have written an intimate scene between Zayn/Klaus Kauffman which is obviously next but it's also technically rape. I'm down with posting it but if you guys do not want it let me know, because I don't know that might be a bit too much for you guys.
> 
> Either way thanks for reading. X


	6. Six.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again, I had the chapter written already only editing took a very long time. And I'm still not quite satisfied to be really honest. But oh well.

Zayn opens his eyes and looks around in panic when he sees that he’s not in his own apartment. He is literally shaking and he really doesn’t want to be alone, he feels like Kauffman can walk into the room any moment. And that thought has him shitting himself. Everyone knows that feeling after they had a nightmare where they are literally scared of everything. That’s how Zayn’s feeling right now.

He’s so tired of having these nightmares/flashbacks. He is trying so desperately hard to forget but it seems like the harder he pushes back, the worse his nightmares get. He looks at his arm and looks at the now blurry tattoo. If you showed this to any person they would have no idea what it said but Zayn will always remember.

Zayn starts shaking again having all kinds of flashbacks while being awake and the tears are falling over his face again. He really doesn’t want Justin to see him like this, but he can’t think straight and he’s absolutely terrified to be alone. ‘’Justin! Justin, please!’’ He screams as loud as his voice allows him to. He’s sobbing again thinking back about his dream and he pushes his head into the pillows. He just wants it all to stop!

‘’Justin!’’ He shouts again with his face in the pillows. A few seconds later he hears someone running on the stairs and Justin runs inside the room where the younger boy was. He was holding a golf club and his hair was totally messy. He looks around the room for a second and then his eyes fall on the younger boy in his bed.

He immediately walks over to Zayn and sits next to him on the bed looking at him with a worried look. ‘’Hey, don’t worry it’s okay. I’m here with you, it was just a bad dream.’’ He says quietly and puts his arms slowly around Zayn, not really knowing if Zayn is comfortable with that. Zayn immediately crawls deeper in Justin’s arms  without even noticing, he is still crying but not sobbing anymore.

Justin makes soothing sounds and after ten minutes Zayn has stopped crying. And now his fear has been replaced by another feeling, embarrassment. He sniffles quietly and puts his head on Justin’s chest. Justin is now basically lying next to him and has put the golf club down on the ground. ‘’I-I-I’m so-so sorry.’’ Zayn says voice breaking and ready to cry again.

‘’Oh no, no-no, it’s totally fine Zee. Just relax, everything will be alright. It doesn’t even matter that much.’’ Justin says while shushing him to be quiet again. Zayn sniffles quietly and buries himself against Justin even further. Justin goes with his hands through Zayn’s hair softly, this is a moment he has dreamed of. But seeing Zayn in pain like this is not making the moment too enjoyable. After another ten minutes Zayn has calmed down completely but is not showing any signs of moving away from Justin’s strong hold.

‘’W-What were you going to do with that golf club?’’ Zayn asks quietly making Justin smile. ‘’I don’t know, I needed something to fight with so I could save you from any intruders or even monsters.’’ Zayn giggles and smiles. Justin feels his heart flutter again at making his crush giggle. Fuck, he’s just perfect and adorable.

‘’Well, it worked. You fought away the monster I was dreaming about, thank you.’’ Zayn says quietly and looking up at Justin in the dark. Even in the dark light Zayn could still see how beautiful Justin’s eyes looked. ‘’No problem, always for you.’’ Justin says and Zayn blushes feeling like Justin is actually flirting with him.

It’s not like they weren’t already laying tangled together in one bed and if anyone were to walk in, they would think Justin and Zayn were lovers instead of colleagues. Because that’s what they looked like, a lovesick couple cuddled up together in bed saying cheesy lines to one another. Put a blind person in the room and they would say that they could feel love in the air, that’s how strong the connection was between the two of them.

‘’Just go to sleep, Zee. I’ll be right here.’’ Justin says quietly making Zayn smile at him before closing his eyes and drifting off to a peaceful sleep of nothingness. Justin is also really tired, but he’s trying to fight it off. He has the most beautiful man in the world and possibly the love of his life laying in his arms, cuddled up against him. Who would want to go to sleep?

Zayn would be so lucky with a man like Justin. But after everything that has happened to him, will he let another man into his life again?

 

The next day Zayn wakes up to an empty bed, but he can hear Justin downstairs. So the planning of today is that they have till four to put together some bits and pieces. Zayn gets up and steps in the shower before freshening up real quick. Once downstairs he sees Justin in the kitchen making some pancakes while singing along to the radio.

‘’Morning, Justin.’’ Zayn says shyly and sits down at the breakfast table in the middle of the kitchen. ‘’Morning, Zayn. Hope you’re feeling a little bit better?’’ Justin asks making Zayn blush furiously from embarrassment. He cannot believe he actually made Justin sleep with him in bed. ‘’Yes, I am.’’ Zayn says quietly making Justin nod. He puts a plate in front of Zayn and also puts two pancakes on his plate.

‘’Alright, but I just remembered a thing. That hairdresser appointment, I obviously need that to happen today.’’ Justin brings up while putting down a plate for himself. ‘’Yes, I took care of that yesterday when we were on our way to the hospital.’’ Zayn says and takes a small bite. Justin nods and munches happily. ‘’Thank you, Zayn.’’

They eat in complete silence after that, you can only hear the sound of their silverware. But both boys don’t mind, it’s actually a comfortable silence. Justin is done with his fourth pancake and looks at Zayn who is almost done with his first one but decides that he’s full.

‘’So... Do you want to tell me what your nightmare was about?’’ Justin asks curiously. Zayn puts his knife and fork down and shakes his head. ‘’I don’t really remember.’’ Zayn lies. Justin nods slowly looking right through the little white lie. ‘’Good… Just whenever you want to talk about it, you can come to me.’’

Justin knows that Zayn’s lying and he’s also having the idea that this is a thing that happens a lot. ‘’You sure, you’re not going to eat more?’’ Justin says trying to sound casual but instead sounding a little worried. ‘’No, I’m good. Thank you.’’ Zayn says making Justin just nod. He knows that Zayn only ate that one pancake to be polite.

‘’Alright, let’s go pick up our suits and then we’ll go to the hairdresser. We can get some coffee on the way since we’re running a little bit behind schedule.’’ Zayn says and Justin nods, together they leave to get their suits and get their hair done.

  


‘’You two look very handsome.’’ Jessica says but is really only looking at Justin. Justin is wearing a blue suit with a black tie, both costing a ridiculous amount of money. Zayn smiles awkwardly at Jessica knowing she actually only meant Justin. He himself is actually also looking very gorgeous, he is not wearing a suit but a white blouse with black trousers and shiny black shoes. Also his outfit costs way more than he is comfortable with.

But Justin convinced him to buy it for him.

Justin smiles politely at Jessica and mumbles a thank you before asking her if she can change some things in the meeting room. She smiles brightly at being needed and walks away. ‘’I thought you were going to ask her out.’’ Zayn says but immediately feels stupid for asking.

It was like he was daring Justin to ask her out, he just wanted to see if he would actually do it.

Justin has seemed to catch on their little mind game. ‘’Do you want me to ask her out or something?’’ He asks playing along. Zayn just shrugs not really knowing what to say for a second. ‘’I don’t know, it’s just what your grandfather wanted.’’ He says not really looking at Justin anymore, making Justin smirk. ‘’Well see how today goes, and maybe after today I’ll ask her out.’’

Zayn just nods and gives Justin a little too harshly the files and walks to his desk mumbling that he has to go look at some things. This just makes Justin smirk even wider, it’s quite obvious that Zayn has gotten a little bit jealous. But Zayn is telling himself that he just go annoyed with Justin for some reason. Justin walks over to Zayn again and looks at him with a fake pout.

‘’Come on, let’s not get mad right now. We’re going to have to do this together, you’ll be by my side the entire time.’’ Zayn ignores Justin pout. ‘’I’m not mad.’’ Zayn says, still not really looking at him.

Justin laughs and grabs the book out of Zayn’s hand and puts it down on the desk. Then he forces Zayn to look up at him by grabbing his chin. ‘’Yes, you are sweetheart. And just because we shared a bed together doesn’t mean you can suddenly act like this. I’m still your boss, am I not?’’ He whispers in a husky voice into Zayn’s ear making Zayn totally bashful and turn really red.

‘’Am I interrupting something?’’ Niall asks standing a few feet away looking at the scène in front of him. Justin grins at him and shakes his head. ‘’No, I was just telling Zayn here a thing or two about how we behave around here.’’ Justin says looking at Zayn who is still very red. Niall scoffs. ‘’I knew he would start trouble, if you need some help than tell me. I can be your partner in crime and your assistant.’’

Justin shakes his head. ‘’Don’t worry about it, Zayn got this. He just should not forget who is boss around here.’’ He says looking at Zayn again and giving him a wink making Zayn just look at him with a nervous look. Justin was doing it again, he thought. He was flirting with him, at least that’s what Zayn thinks it is. He is not quite sure, but he thinks it is flirting.

Niall doesn’t seem to notice the sexual tension around Justin and Zayn who are now just looking at one another. Justin with a rather amused face while Zayn’s face holds nothing but confusion and a little caution. ‘’So, Justin what do you think?’’ Niall asks holding up a paper, neither Justin nor Zayn knowing what the hell he was talking about since they were too busy staring at one another.

‘’I think it’s wonderful, Niall. But anyway, I’m getting annoyed at not being able to do something anymore so let’s grab some coffee.’’ Niall shakes his head. ‘’No, buddy, we have to go get ready to receive or guests and hopefully future business partners. They’re coming in twenty minutes so let’s go.’’

‘’I can go get some coffee, I’ll be on time back I promise.’’ Zayn offers Justin hesitates for a split second but then just nods. ‘’You better be, we cannot let old Mr. Bieber down.’’ Niall mumbles looking at Zayn with a bored stare.

‘’Are you talking about me or gramps?’’

‘’I believe both.’’ Making Justin smirk and playfully push Niall. Zayn gets his bag and looks at Justin one more time before leaving.

‘’I don’t trust him.’’ Niall says making Justin shrug. ‘’It doesn’t really matter what you think.’’ Niall looks up at Justin with an arched eyebrow. ‘’He is sketchy, don’t tell me you’re trying to be friends with him.’’ This time it’s Justin’s turn to scoff. ‘’How do you mean sketchy?’’

Niall shrugs. ‘’He is so quiet meaning he is definitely hiding something, he is probably a fairy.’’ Justin shoots Niall a destroying look making Niall look innocently up at him. ‘’What?’’

Justin sighs and starts walking towards the meeting room with Niall following him. ‘’Niall, I swear to god this is not fucking high school. I’m done with you ruining peoples life with that bullshit.’’

‘’What the hell? I have done nothing, where is this coming from?’’ Niall asks a little bit too loudly for Justin’s taste. He shouldn’t have reacted to Niall, he doesn’t want to cause a scène. Especially not right now. Justin puts a finger on his lips making Niall go quiet again. ‘’We’re not discussing this right, I know that you spread that rumour about me getting Vanessa pregnant.’’

Niall becomes a little pale and his eyes widen making Justin roll his eyes. ‘’Don’t worry about it. I don’t care anyway. I just need you to behave for just fucking today, I’m not letting gramps down.’’

Niall nods and for the rest of walk they’re silent. Once they arrived at the meeting room Justin looks at it with an approving look. It looks formal and business-y, like they have their shit together. Justin takes one deep breath and sits down on one of the chairs, Niall sits next to him and later another guy, Josh, walks in and sits on Justin’s left-side.

‘’Hey Justin, how is old Mr. Bieber doing?’’ Josh asks once he sits down making Justin grimace. He hasn’t had the time to visit his old gramps, but he is going for sure tonight. ‘’He’s good. He’s getting better, you know my grandfather.’’ Justin says vaguely making Josh nod in understanding. ‘’Well tell him that my prayers go out to him.’’ Justin gives him a grateful smile before he turns to look at nothing in particular.

A few minutes later all the assistants arrive, everyone but Zayn is now there and Justin is getting worried. He cannot have run off, now can he? No, Zayn wouldn’t do that he knows how important this is for Justin. He is probably running a bit late.

Jessica storms the room in, a little bit out of breath with wide eyes. ‘’They are here! They’ll be up here any minute now.’’ She says before leaving, making Justin frown since Zayn has not arrived yet. Niall gives Justin an ‘’I told you so’’ look making Justin just glare at him. He strokes his suit and tries to get out the invisible imperfections.

‘’Alright, I trust in all of you. And remember this is not for me, but for my grandfather.’’ He says loudly so that everyone can hear him. They all nod and everyone gets in their automatic professional version. Not even a few moments later three men walk in jet black suits, they look very rich.

Justin gets up and smiles at them while walking over to the three men with Niall and Josh right behind them. The first guy has dull green eyes with glasses and is looking very annoyed to be here even though he tries to hide it. It’s obvious that he’s from Italian descent. Justin shakes his hand and throws him a charming smile, and welcoming him to their company.

Justin then shakes the hand of the second guy, he’s blonde with brownish eyes. His skin tone screams Italian as well and it seems like he’s the leader of the trio, he smiles at Justin and shakes his hand with a strong grip. Justin nods at him and welcomes him as well.

The third guy, well the third guy was standing there looking at Justin his face screaming that he wasn’t impressed. His hair was brown/blondish with very cold blue eyes. He had a beard as well making him look even more manlier since he already had quite the muscular body. He gave Justin a small smile but his eyes weren’t smiling so Justin knew it was fake. Justin took one more fast look at the guy and noticed that he wasn’t Italian like the other two. He seemed West-European or something.

They sit down again and start talking business. Justin can feel that these people are not happy that his gramps is not here. ‘’Yes, he had an accident recently and he couldn’t join us today unfortanutely.’’ Only the blonde one with brown eyes was polite enough to give Justin’s grandfather his wishes. The other two looked like they wanted to leave making Justin really upset.

He cannot let them go like this yet, they are looking like they already made a decision. This was not how it was supposed to go, they worked so hard on being able to impress them. ‘’We actually already have made a decision.’’ The guy with the cold blue eyes says looking at Justin with a boring look.

‘’That’s totally fine, but please let us first show you a thing or two. We have so many new things to show. We even got a slideshow, very high-tec stuff you are going to love it.'' Justin says in his most charming voice.

‘’No, that’s good. We have already had enough information to make a decision.’’ The guy with the glasses says making Justin ball his hands into fists underneath the table. He quietly counts in his head to calm himself down. This cannot be happening, this is a fucking nightmare.

And then before the guy with the blue eyes can say anything Zayn walks in, face heating up in embarrassment when he notices that everyone is staring at him. Also the three Italian business partners, they look over at Zayn. Zayn glances around awkwardly before his eyes fall on the three business man, on one guy in particular but Justin cannot make out who it is.

And not even two seconds later Zayn drops the coffee cups he was holding and just basically runs out of the room. Justin sighs, goddammit, of course this were to happen. He is just so fucking stupid, he shouldn’t have let Zayn go.

This is it, he ruined it. He fucked up big time.

‘’We have a deal.’’ The guy with the blue eyes says looking at the door, the spot where Zayn just fled out. ‘’We do!?’’ Everyone asks in surprise including his other two partners. The guy nods his head with a grin. ‘’I don’t know why, but I’ve got a feeling that this could be really interesting and somewhat beneficial in some way.’’ He says making Justin even more confused. 

He talks to the other two in a foreign language that is obviously not Italian, it sounds like German actually. The other two nod slowly at what their partner says. ‘’Alright, yes we have a deal.’’ I look at them in confusion, we weren’t supposed to seal a deal in till two days. And just a minute ago they had literally like zero interest.

 

***A look in the past; this is not a flashback* (mature/explicit scene)**

 

_‘’I’m ready.’’ Zayn says while stroking Kauffman’s arm making Kauffman look down at him in surprise. Not very much later Kauffman is holding Zayn up with his hands under Zayn’s little bottom, squeezing it a little bit. They make out on their way to Kauffman’s room, well at least Kauffman is making out with Zayn. Zayn is not participating too much but he is still kissing Kauffman cautiously._

_Kauffman throws him on the bed and starts to take off his blouse. ‘’Take off your clothes, now.’’ He growls while he is struggling with his pants but eventually gets them off. Zayn is trying to think about everything but what is happening right now, he just can’t. It’s too much. But he still does as told and takes off his clothes as fast as he can._

_He kisses Kauffman slowly when Kauffman is holding him around his waist. He then gets turned around and now his bare butt is facing Kauffman. Kauffman is massaging his little perky butt and then slaps him a few times harshly on his little butt. Zayn flinches and grits his teeth. ‘’God, you don’t know how long I have wanted to do this.’’_

_He pushes Zayn even further into matrass, Zayn not really minding since he hasn’t laid down on anything this soft in ages. And he tries to focus on that instead of all the things Kauffman is doing with his body. He unwillingly moans when Kauffman sucks on his neck making him squirm a little. ‘’No time for foreplay babe, I just want to get my cock in you already.’’ He whispers in a seductive voice._

_He spreads Zayn’s buttocks and pushes himself into the younger lad. Zayn bites on his lip to not scream in pain and he can feel the tears starting to form in his eyes. ‘’It’s going to be worth it.’’ He tells himself repeatedly in his head, even though he doesn’t really know if that’s true._

_Kauffman is moving already rapidly in and out of Zayn and Zayn can feel blood forming but that doesn’t stop Kauffman. ‘’God, fuck, you feel better than I imagined.’’ He grunts, his movements going faster and Zayn trying to act like he’s enjoying it. Zayn lets out fake small moans but actually they sound like little whimpers._

_Kauffman is satisfied though and slaps Zayn on one of his butt cheeks. ‘’You like that don’t you. Such a whore for me.’’ He says while slapping Zayn’s ass making it turn totally red. Kauffman pushes himself deep inside Zayn one last time before making an odd sound Zayn has never heard before in real life. Only in naughty movies. Kauffman leaves Zayn lying there with a white substance mixed with blood. Zayn is feeling nothing but pain in his whole body and humiliation._

_Kauffman on the other hand is experiencing a new kind of high. Never has he felt this way while fucking someone. He lays down next to Zayn and puts his hands on Zayn’s back and strokes him there softly. ‘’Did you like that, babe? You want more of that, don’t you?’’ Kauffman says with a smirk on his face not even bothering to think about the tears in Zayn’s eyes._

_‘’Yes, I did thank you.’’ He says quietly making Kauffman place a little kiss on Zayn’s forehead and throwing his arms around Zayn. Zayn lets it all happen and focuses again on the very soft matrass. He wonders that if he had to go, or if he could stay the night. He decides to not ask since he doesn’t want to know the answer. So instead he asks something else. ‘’What are you going to tell your maid…? I mean, she heard us.’’ Zayn says shyly in a quiet voice._

_Kauffman grins and looks down at Zayn before shrugging. ‘’Don’t worry about that, I’m going to kill her.’’ Kauffman says making Zayn gasp quietly. And then it all crashes back on him again, he just slept with this… this monster. This psychopath. ‘’Let’s have her make you something nice and then I’ll shoot her. Or do you have any objections.’’_

_Zayn is already drooling again at the idea of having food, but this is questioning his morals. Or at least, what’s left from them. Zayn looks up at Kauffman, looking at him with his big brown chestnut eyes that Kauffman adores so much. ‘’I don’t have any objections.’’ Zayn says making Kauffman smirk at him. Kauffman screams at the top of his lungs for the lady to come again._

_She opens the door slowly her legs like sticks shaking furiously. ‘’Go get him some peas with mashed potatoes. And also some of those little cakes I made you bake.’’ He says from the bed looking dominant as ever with Zayn cowering away from the lady not wanting to see any judgement. But when he does look up he sees nothing in the woman’s face, nothing but a little fear._

_Zayn sighs quietly and looks at Kauffman who is drawing circles on his naked fragile body. He doesn’t want to go back to his barrack, he wants to stay here even if it’s just till the morning. ‘’Can you please make me miss Appel tomorrow?’’ He asks quietly when he has gathered up the courage. ‘’I’ll give you something back, I promise. I can suck you off tomorrow morning.’’ Zayn says looking up at him batting his long eyelashes._

_‘’And why should I wait till tomorrow? I can also force you to do it now.’’_

_‘’Yes, you can do that. But if you wait till tomorrow, it’ll be me who wants to do it. Without needing any force.’’ Kauffman seems to think about that for a second before nodding. ‘’You better have some skills with those pretty lips of yours.’’ He mumbles before giving Zayn a slobby kiss on the mouth. Zayn just puts on a fake smile and goes to sit on his lap. ‘’Thank you so much. You’re so nice to me.’’ He mumbles in a small tone while placing little kisses all over Kauffman’s face._

_Kauffman seems to be satisfied making Zayn relax as well. He feels like he has found a way to tame the beast a little._

 

_Little did he know in that moment that it would all come back to haunt him. He could tame the beast, but not get rid of it._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was obvious to me that Klaus and Justin had to meet at some point in the story. The backstory of Klaus (Kauffman)/Zayn twisted romance will come next chapter, now you know how it started but I want you guys to get a glimps of the man that is Klaus Kauffman. And after that we will see how Justin reacts when he finds out what happened to his precious Zayn, I mean he obviously is going to find out eventually, right?
> 
> This story will be around 10/11 chapters.


	7. Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a minute... let's take a look at Zayn and Klaus/Kauffman's relationship.

¬ The Past

 

Kauffman moans into Zayn’s ear thrusting harder while saying many very perverted things.  But Zayn is numb to it by now now. Zayn looks at Heidi who is staring at him, it’s kind of disgusting how Heidi is always there when Kauffman does this to him. But he’s not about to ask him to put her outside.

Zayn fakes a small moan to keep Kauffman satisfied, it surprises him how Kauffman cannot tell that his moans are fake. Zayn keeps looking at Heidi while Kauffman is behind him trying to break Zayn’s bottom with his manhood. Zayn looks at Heidi how she is looking like she pities him, it’s quite well known that German Shepherds are very intelligent. Zayn wonders if she actually knows what’s going on.

‘’Fuck, baby, I—‘’ And Kauffman empties himself inside Zayn before grunting and falling onto the bed dragging Zayn with him. Zayn looks at how the older man’s chest is going up and down. ‘’Fuck, let’s add another day to your visits. Let’s make it four times instead of three times a week.’’ He breathes out, Zayn says nothing and just stares at him.  He’s exhausted as well but not because of the same reasons.

Zayn has been coming in and out of the big house. He has probably been doing this two months for three times a week and every time he gets out of the house he feels like running against the electric fence. He has stopped crying a long time ago, it’s not going to make anything better.

Kauffman keeps staring at him as well with his blue eyes, that usually looked cold and hollow now are looking electric. His eyes look very alive very vibrant like he has just taken the best drug in the world. ‘’I love you.’’ He whispers making Zayn cringe and flinch at the same time. Kauffman looks at Zayn waiting for an answer. He cannot be serious, Zayn thinks.

‘’I hate you,’’ Zayn whispers looking him dead in the eye. ‘’You’re a monster.’’ Zayn says feeling quite satisfied with himself. Kauffman looks hurt for a second, but just as it came it leaves. He rolls around and starts laughing bitterly, like a mad man he shakes his head slowly, his shoulders also shaking from the bitter laughter.

 Zayn feels fear starting to slowly pool into his stomach.

Kauffman gets up, feeling quite proud standing naked in all his glory. Zayn doesn’t look up at him. ‘’Come here.’’ He eventually says through gritted teeth.

Zayn doesn’t move a muscle, completely frozen.

He has made a decision, he is done with this. Zayn doesn’t move a hair and closes his eyes waiting for Kauffman’s unavoidable rage to come up and eat him alive.

‘’Answer when you’re spoken to!’’ Kauffman screams voice laced with complete and utter hatred. making Zayn’s body go into complete shock mode.

‘’Okay then. I see.’’ Kauffman says through gritted teeth, he stomps towards where Heidi is laying and gently nudges her towards the door. ‘’Good girl, go out then.’’

And that’s when Zayn knew he had completely and utterly fucked up.

He sits up in the bed and looks up at Kauffman who is closing the door and his eyes are suddenly very dark. Zayn starts shaking knowing that whatever is about to come is going to be horrible. He cannot speak because of the fear going through him, he looks at Kauffman who is coming closer and closer and he can feel actual tears run over his cheek.

Kauffman stomps over to the bed and grabs Zayn by his hair dragging him off of the bed and throws him on the ground making Zayn let out a pitiful groan. ‘’You. Ungrateful. Piece. Of. Shit.’’ Kauffman screams in Zayn’s face while punching him. Zayn is now full on sobbing making Kauffman even angrier.

He slams Zayn against the wall throwing a lamp at his back that happened to be standing on a nightstand.

‘’I give you a fucking roof over your head. I put food in your stomach. And you repay me by calling me a monster?’’ Kauffman asks forcing Zayn to look at him. ‘’I might have been wrong about thinking you deserve to live.’’ Kauffman says wrapping his hands around Zayn’s throat.

And that’s when Zayn gets his voice back. ‘’No! No! No! P-P-Please d-don’t. I’m begging don’t!’’ Kauffman’s hands are holding Zayn’s neck loosely but Zayn knows that he can choke him any moment now. Kauffman tilts his head looking at Zayn who is bleeding profusely from his face.

‘’Tell me why you said that you ‘’hate me’’.’’ Kauffman says calmly.

Zayn is still crying and he doesn’t know what to say. What does Kauffman want to hear? Should he just say that he’s sorry? He obviously cannot tell the truth.

‘’I’m – I’m s-so sorry. People-people have b-been mean to me, and I’m-I’m reacting it out on you.’’ He says still crying pathetically, his tears mixing with the blood and snot.

There is still some truth to that lie, so it’s not really a lie. It’s just not the reason why he said that he hated Kauffman. Zayn knows that Kauffman is capable of figuring out when someone is lying to him, and he’s not willing to take his chances. Kauffman looks at him for a second before releasing his grip. ‘’Mean to you?’’

Zayn nods looking up at Kauffman with big eyes. ‘’Because I-I’m always with you they hurt me. They can see that I’m not getting skinny like them.’’ Zayn says softly tears still running down his face but he has stopped crying. He looks up at Kauffman’s cold blue eyes. ‘’But that’s no reason to say I hate you. I want to be with you forever, you’re so good to me I’m not worth you.’’ Zayn says and starts crying hard again, shoulders shaking. Looking like a mess with all the cuts and blood.

Kauffman seems to have gone back to normal as he takes Zayn in his arms making Zayn flinch at the sudden movement.

‘’You should have told me, Liebling. They’re dead by tomorrow, I’ll make sure of it.’’ Kauffman whispers making Zayn feel uneasy. He didn’t really mourn the dead anymore but it still gave him an uneasy feeling. Kauffman makes Zayn look at him again.

‘’You belong to me,’’ he starts looking Zayn deep in the eyes. ‘’You belong to me. To no one else, understood?’’ Zayn nods his head slowly.

‘’Who do you belong to?’’

‘’You.’’

‘’Who helped you stay alive?’’

‘’You.’’

‘’Who fed you and put clothes on your body?’’

‘’You.’’

‘’Who has complete power over you?’’

‘’You.’’

‘’You’re goddamn right.’’ Kauffman growls before starting to walk away, Zayn looks at his naked figure. He knows he fucked up, Kauffman is not going to give him everything he wants anymore and he lost the trust.

‘’Klaus?’’ He whispers softly making Kauffman turn around to look at him, wanting to ask who the hell he thought he was being able to use his first name. ‘’I love you too. I feel bad for upsetting you. Please take me to bed again and remind me who owns me.’’

Zayn is disgusted by his own words, but he is selfish for he wants to stay alive.

Klaus looks pleased to hear that and walks back over towards Zayn and he lifts him up. ‘’Don’t you worry your pretty little head, okay?’’  Zayn smiles at him trying to hide the pain he’s feeling. Klaus throws him on the bed making Zayn ache before he basically jumps on top of him before they start making out.

 

Thirty minutes later Zayn’s blood has dried up and he’s leaning against Klaus who is smoking a cigarette. ‘’Who are the ones that have been giving you a hard time?’’ Klaus asks making Zayn think, he feels like God now deciding over other people’s fate.

‘’There is my Kapo, he is really mean to me. Ever since me coming here has become a regular thing he likes to keep me from getting food and he gangs up on me. One time he wanted me to perform… Acts on him.’’ That didn’t actually happen to Zayn, it happened to another boy who was a little bit younger than him. The boy died shortly afterwards and it has always stayed with Zayn.

‘’He fucking what?’’ Klaus screams for a second looking at Zayn who leans against him further. ‘’He didn’t get to do it, but he wanted to. I got off because he had to take me to your house.’’ Zayn says quietly looking at Klaus who has gone calm again. ‘’I’ll kill him, don’t worry about it. I’ll kill him very slowly.’’ Klaus says his eyes wandering away, probably imagining all the sick thing he is going to do to make him suffer.

One of the guards barges in and looks at Klaus, fear and panic written all over his face, he seems not to be surprised about Zayn laying in Kauffman’s bed naked. ‘’H-Heidi.’’ He says before turning around and running down the stairs.

Klaus’ face loses colour and he gets out of the bed throwing the cigarette somewhere in the room before throwing on a pair of pants and running down stairs. Zayn doesn’t know if he should go or not, eventually he decides to go after putting on some clothes as well. He comes downstairs to see no one, he looks around and sees the guard outside at the patio.

The lady who worked there was crying and standing a few feet away from a very upset Klaus.

Klaus who had Heidi in his arms looking like he was trying to bring her back to life, and failing. The guard is stepping towards Klaus wanting to seemingly help somehow. ‘’Herr Kommandant – I’’

‘’Leave!’’ Klaus screams his face having gone totally red and a vein threatening to burst, the guard nods frantically before starting to walk but then turning around. ‘’However you should know that she probably choked on some chicken bones that the bitch gave him.’’

Klaus looks up. ‘’No—Wait. Take her with you to the camp and put her in Block 11.’’ He says coldly still looking at what used to be his best friend.

Block 11 were the standing cells where they would put people in waiting to be hanged or to just let them basically freeze to death.

He looks up and looks down at the woman. ‘’I’m going to skin you alive, I’m going to murder you. Slowly. I’ll give you hell for doing this.’’

‘’Take her with you. Shoot ten women for me and tell the others they are not getting food. Tell them it’s because of her, but don’t let them kill her. Don’t kill her yourself either, I will do it.’’ The guard nods before grabbing the woman who is full on sobbing by her hair and dragging her along with him, shouting swear words at her along the way.

Zayn doesn’t really know what to do and stands there a little uneasy. He looks at how Kauffman puts his face into Heidi’s fur before he hears a muffled scream. Klaus is crying.

Klaus is actually crying, not the full on sobbing but he is showing weakness. Zayn is too stunned to do anything. There are tears falling over his face. ‘’What am I going to do now? She was my best and only friend.’’ Klaus says before holding Heidi closer to him, sitting there.

Suddenly he looked so much younger.

Zayn’s heart hurt at the sight. Zayn has dreamed about this, the day Klaus would get hurt. The day that he would be the one crying, but he feels no satisfaction at all right now. He wants to say it is because he cared for only Heidi but that’s not entirely true. He feels bad for his rapist.

Zayn walks over to Klaus and kneels down, his hands stroke through Heidi’s fur a few times before looking back at Klaus. ‘’I’m truly sorry.’’ He whispers making Klaus look at him, Zayn wipes away his tears before kissing him softly on the lips. ‘’You’re not a monster.’’

 

 

 

 

*

_Klaus looks around at the bodies lying around him with his cold blue eyes. ‘’How many did you shoot?’’ He asks the guard who was standing next to him. ‘’Ten like you asked, Sir.’’ Klaus nods slowly looking at the bodies that are laid down next to one another. Klaus turns around to look at the women from the block who are looking at the ground and visibly shaking._

_‘’I’m going to see the bitch. It is not guaranteed that all of you will live.’’ Klaus grumbles before turning around and walking towards Block 11, also known as the death block. Block 11 was used for prisoners who have tried to escape or who are suspected of sabotage. The cells were totally isolated and dark, you also had standing cells and that’s where Klaus’ ex-maid was at._

_Klaus walks towards the block with two guards behind him, eyes darker than usual. He walks inside with the other guards behind him, he opens the woman’s cell and orders her to come outside. The woman looks horrible, she is basically skin on bones and her eyes are hollow._

_Klaus smirks when she walks outside of the block being blinded by the sunlight. ‘’Gather everyone up.’’ Klaus commands before walking towards the woman who has her head faced down to the ground. Klaus waits until all the prisoners of her block are rounded up before speaking._

_‘’You have taken something precious from me, me, a pure blood Aryan. What do you have to say for yourself?’’ Klaus growls looking at the woman who says nothing which makes Klaus even angrier._

_‘’Speak when your spoken to, and look me in the eyes.’’ He growls right in her face, making the woman look up slowly just for Klaus to smack her right in the face._

_‘’You fucking bitch took my most precious friend, and you don’t even have anything to say for yourself?!’’ He is making himself look out right mad._

_‘’I don’t even know what to do with you. Because don’t think that I’ll let you die. Holy fuck, I won’t let you die. I’ll make you suffer for as long as I am alive and for as long as this fucking war goes on.’’ Klaus breathes his face almost touching hers._

_‘’I’ll mutilate you, I’ll find your family and kill them. I will do anything in my power to destroy you.’’ Klaus says before walking away again before starting to laugh. ‘’It’s just so difficult! I can just not choose what to do with you first.’’ He says letting a hand go through his blond hair._

_The woman looks Klaus in the eyes, eyes empty, she knows that this is the end of it. She cannot survive the hell that the demon before her has created._

_And that’s when she starts running as fast as she could towards the electric fence, one of the guards started shooting her way._

_‘’Stop shooting you bloody idiot! I want her alive!’’ Klaus growls before starting to run as well towards the woman. The woman is struggling since she has not eaten in days and has no fuel in her body._

_But she has the willpower in her eyes to make it, and just as soon as Klaus gets close to her she throws herself on the electric fence making Klaus let out an angery scream. He looks at her lifeless body that falls on his feet and looks at it in disgust._

_And then Klaus starts kicking her, kicking her body and not stopping until she is nothing but blood mixed with mushed meat._

_After what seems like forever Klaus stops, he is breathing heavily and his forehead is glistering with sweat. His thoughts are clouded with anger, he gets out his gun and points it at the women who are lined up next to the guards._

_He starts shooting them one by one._

_The women start crying, some of them try to escape but he shoots them anyways. The sound of the shots are making his ears ring harder and harder with each shot, but he doesn’t stop until there’s no one standing._

_It’s a complete and utter blood bath._

_Klaus looks at it with an annoyed look before starting to walk through the camp where random women are working. He shoots some of them randomly on his way out of the women section of the camp. ‘’Fuck this shit. Fucking imbeciles every one of them.’’ Klaus mutters to himself still shaking with rage. He only knows one way to relax_

_‘’I’m going home, make prisoner number A-2811 come to my house. Make him hurry up as well.’’ Klaus orders before stomping away, still mad as fuck, the guards scramble together knowing fully well that they better hurry up and to not test Klaus any further._

_Klaus is sitting on one of his Victorian couches in the living room with a glass bourbon in his hands. He shakes the glass impatiently, waiting for Zayn to come. He’s been waiting for almost twenty minutes and he’s feeling like shooting someone. Again._

_Luckily Zayn walks through the door making Klaus smile weakly._

_‘’Hey… How are you?’’ Zayn asks biting his lip making Klaus’ pants tighten. He just wants to fuck his boy and forget about everything. ‘’Strip.’’ Klaus orders, ignoring whatever Zayn said since he wasn’t listening. Zayn seems to hesitate for a second before stripping down slowly until he’s naked._

_He keeps his head hung down in shame and embarrassment, until Klaus orders him to look him in the eyes which Zayn does eventually.  Klaus takes a sip from his bourbon and looks at his boy like he’s looking at a painting from the Renaissance era._

_‘’You look perfect, come here.’’ Klaus breathes before tapping his own lap._

_Zayn’s cheeks flush red before he shuffles shyly towards Klaus, who is not looking away and taking in every inch of Zayn’s body. Zayn looks at Klaus one more time for reassurance that it’s okay, when he’s sure he sits down slowly on Klaus’ lap. Klaus throws an arm around Zayn’s waist giving Zayn all kinds of chills._

_‘’She escaped.’’ Klaus starts while stroking Zayn’s pale skin. Zayn nods slowly not really knowing what to say right now. ‘’I killed about thirty women today.’’ Klaus states before looking up at Zayn wanting a response, anything. He wants Zayn to tell him he’s a monster, that he doesn’t deserve to live. He wants to hear anything._

_‘’I’m sorry that she escaped.’’ Zayn says quietly before putting his lips on Klaus’ stubbly cheek. Klaus looks at him with a blank stare trying to figure out if Zayn’s lying to him. Zayn is scared for a second that Klaus might strike him for kissing him without permission. ‘’Yeah, I’m too.’’ Klaus says sighing before gulping down his drink down all at once. Not once flinching._

_Zayn puts his head against Klaus’ chest, listening quietly to his heartbeat. ‘’What should I do next?’’ Klaus asks while staring at the empty place in the corner where Heidi always used to lay._

_Zayn tries to think about what Klaus wants to hear but he cannot come up with anything really. So instead he asks him another question. ‘’How much did you love Heidi?’’_

_‘’What kind of question is that?’’ Klaus demands angrily making Zayn flinch. Wrong move._

_‘’Okay, I’m sorry. Let’s talk about something else. Do you actually love me?’’ Zayn asks now sitting up to look at Klaus, not really bothered anymore that he is naked since Klaus has seen him naked many times._

_‘’You are asking many stupid questions today.’’ Klaus says in a bored tone making Zayn smile weakly. ‘’I just don’t know. Sometimes you’re really nice, sweet and caring, and at other times you’re so rude, mean and devious.’’ Zayn takes a huge risk by saying this because he doesn’t know how Klaus is going to react._

_‘’Have I been really that mean, rude and devious to you?’’ Klaus asks with a frown._

_Zayn wants to mention Klaus raping him but he decides not to._

_‘’No… It’s just to other people. You’re generally very nice to me,’’ Zayn pauses for a second trying to think how he is going to word this._

_‘’Don’t sugar coat it, I know already that I’m going to the deepest pits of hell. I don’t care.’’_

_Zayn looks at him with a confused look. Most Nazis believe that what they are doing is morally fine, so to hear Klaus confess this shocks Zayn. ‘’Don’t look at me like that.’’ Klaus grumbles._

_Zayn says nothing and just sighs. ‘’Believe it or not but I actually want to be with you. Not just having you as a fucktoy, but more like a proper relationship,’’ Klaus starts._

_‘’But in this universe with these circumstances I won’t be able to have you that way. I can only have you like this. So, Zayn, as long as I’m in power I’ll give you anything you want because I truly fucking love you.’’ All that just made Zayn feel breathless._

_Someone actually cares and wants to be with him?_

_It might be a psychotic Nazi, but somehow that seems to have slipped out of his mind._

_‘’If you love me so much as you say you do then let me stay here permanently.’’ Zayn pleads looking up at Klaus with his big eyes. He has never said it out loud but both Klaus and him know that he really doesn’t want to go back to that hell every time._

_Klaus groans before getting up and walking towards the kitchen to get himself a new drink. He also makes a mental note to get new maids._

_Zayn makes a sound of disbelief, he also gets up and puts on the clothes laying on the ground before rushing after Klaus. ‘’Klaus, please!’’ He pleads tears in his eyes._

_‘’You know I cannot do that.’’_

_‘’No, I do not know because you never told me.’’ Zayn says softly, he does not know where he got this new source of courage from._

_‘’I have a job to do here,’’ Klaus states sternly. ‘’I am busy most days with all types of work, and believe it or not but most of my work concerns paper work. I cannot let you sit here alone all day.’’_

_Zayn cannot believe his ears. Klaus is not letting Zayn stay because he has paper work to do? Does he not realize how hellish it is out there? He must realize because he is out there making it hellish. Zayn does not believe Klaus actually loves him._

_‘’So what you are saying is you don’t love me enough to stop hurting me?’’ Zayn asks quietly making Klaus groan again. ‘’Every day in there is a hell, and you know it because you designed it yourself.’’_

_And that’s where Klaus loses it, he throws his glass across the room. ‘’You think I can deal with this right now?! I just lost Heidi and you have the audacity to come here and bitch in my face when you know that is clearly not what I need!’’ He screams utterly annoyed._

_Zayn says nothing and nods slowly. ‘’You’re right,’’ he says quietly. ‘’I’m here so you can fuck me and have your way with me because that’s what love is right?’’ Tears are now rolling over his cheeks._

_‘’Baby…’’ Klaus sighs_

_‘’N-No, it is quite alright. If you are looking for me I will be upstairs waiting for you to come and release your stress.’’ Klaus rubs his face, he grabs Zayn by his arms so he can’t leave. ‘’You are right Liebling, I’m sorry. But I can really not make your stay here permanent, I really wish I could.’’_

_‘’I’m not lying when I say that I love you. I maybe don’t know how to act yet, but you can teach me. Baby boy, please, you know I only get mad because I love you too much.’’ Klaus says in a now soft voice, knowing exactly what to say to make Zayn calm down._

_Zayn sniffles a little and nods. ‘’O-Okay.’’_

_Klaus smiles at him, giving him one of the few genuine smiles he has. He kisses Zayn’s cheek while rubbing his shoulder. ‘’Let’s enjoy the day together, I got this very exciting thing that I want to show you.’’_


	8. Eight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been way too long. I had to do some changing when you all made it clear to me that you prefered Klaus over Justin. Ain't no shame in that. This is not edited btw.

_Electric blue eyes are staring back at Zayn intensely and he can feel himself saying:_ _‘’I love you, Klaus Hansel Kauffman, so much.’’_

Zayn wakes up drecnched in cold sweat, he feels like he is out of breath and he looks around frantically. He calms down when he notices that he is in his own bedroom. He can feel tears burn in the back of his eyes, but he has cried so much he does not think he has got anymore tears left to shed. Ever since this afternoon, ever since this damned afternoon he has not been able to breathe freely. His heart is heavy with worry and his lungs seem to not provide him with enough oxygen. He cannot stop thinking.

Every single moment his thoughts bring him back to _him_.

What the hell is he going to do now? How has faith played out that Klaus Hansel Kauffman, a bloody German from Austria is in freaking New England in the United bloody States. What are the chances? Zayn is convinced that the universe is against him, because why now? Why now when he has regained the hope of living a somewhat normal life and maybe even having someone who cares about him again.

Zayn thinks back to Justin and how Justin is probably going to fire him over the stunt he pulled today. Realistically he knows Justin will not fire him since Justin is too nice to do that but still; he deserves to get fired. And maybe that’s for the best because what will happen when Justin finds out the truth about him?

Zayn can feel his stomach sink even further, he starts breathing heavily.

Justin will be disgusted by him because Zayn let Klaus use his body and maybe even worse Zayn let himself love Klaus. He let himself truly care and love the man who killed people as if it was a sport, the man who had no shame and gassed and skinned people alive. Zayn slept with that man, Zayn cooked for that man, Zayn smiled at that man and Zayn loved that man.

Or loves?

Zayn starts shaking his head. ‘’No, I do not love him anymore. It’s over, it has been over for a while.’’ He wraps his arms around himself. How could he have acted so disgustingly? Not only did he let a man use him, while he was sleeping around like a whore men and women were losing their lives.

Children were being killed.

He does not deserve to live. Arguably he is maybe even responsible for their deaths because—

‘’No.’’ Zayn shakes his head again trying to shake away those dark thoughts, those thoughts had plagued him after he was liberated by the Soviets. Those thoughts made him almost end his life. Twice.

Survivor’s guilt is what psychiatrists called them but Zayn knew he was not a survivor, he leeched of the system that systematically murdered people.

How can he ever forgive himself? How can Justin ever care for someone like him?

He is disgusted with himself.

 

 

*

‘’How did it go, son?’’ Justin’s grandfather asks while looking at his grandson who is pacing through the small bedroom. ‘’I don’t know, gramps. I’m just so confused.’’ Justin says still trying to figure out why they all changed their mind so fast. Especially after that epic fail of Zayn, not that he blames him but still.

‘’But you said that they already wanted to seal the deal, that’s great.’’ Justin’s grandfather says in confusion. Justin sighs and shakes his head. ‘’No, that’s not it gramps. I can just not wrap my head around why they did it.’’

‘’So you think our company is shit?’’ Justin’s grandfather asks with a snort making Justin smile weakly. ‘’No, of course not. It’s just that it doesn’t make sense.’’ Justin’s grandfather dismissively waves his hand. ‘’Don’t worry about it. I’m proud of you, Justin. You’re everything I have ever wanted to be.’’ Justin’s grandfather says making Justin’s heart ache because he feels like it’s not him who made the deal. It is some force that was out of his control, the moment those three men walked in they looked like they wanted to leave immediatley. But there was a switch in mood so sudden, he just cannot put his finger on when it happened. It could not have been after Zayn fled, it must have been before that.

If Justin had actually fought hard and showed them everything, then he would’ve been proud. But he doesn’t feel like he deserves his gramps affection. ‘’But let’s move on to another topic; Jessica.’’ He asks with a smirk identical to the ones Justin gives people. Justin sighs and stands still in front of the window.

‘’I didn’t ask her gramps.’’

‘’Justin,’’ he starts with a sigh and looks up at the ceiling. ‘’I’m sorry gramps, I can’t do it. She gives me bad vibes, she’s just too nice.’’ He says, disappointed in himself that he can’t give this to his grandfather. ‘’No, it’s alright. You must listen to your Bieber tuition.’’ They both chuckle at that and Justin turns around to face his grandfather again and sits in the chair besides the bed.

‘’I’m interested in someone though.’’ Making Justin’s grandfather’s eyes become huge with excitement but not even a second later it disappears. ‘’Do I know this person?’’ His grandfather asks making Justin nod slowly and look down at the ground in embarrassment. He’s not embarrassed about who it is, he’s embarrassed about not being just like his grandfather and finding a lovely lady.

Justin’s grandfather says nothing and seems to be deep in thought. Justin has always loved how his grandfather didn’t let society say what is right or wrong. He would always first think for himself how he felt about it and he would come to a conclusion. Of course his grandfather is still narrow minded on some topics, but Justin’s already proud of him for trying to understand.

‘’You’ll have my blessing Justin, but I want you to do one thing for me.’’ Justin nods slowly not sure if his grandfather knows who he means. ‘’I want you to be smart about it. About how you’re going to portray yourself to the cruel outside world. And this might be tough, son. You’ll face a lot of challenges, I did so too.’’

Justin looks up at his grandfather not sure what he means about himself facing a similar challenge. ‘’What do you mean, you faced the similar thing?’’

Justin’s grandfather chuckles. ‘’Well, I wasn’t a queer no. But I was in love with this woman, it was 1908. I went to New Orleans to visit a friend of mine. When I went there I totally fell in love with the city, I mean it’s hard not to. The city was so alive and the people were amazing, it was like they were celebrating everyday like it was their last.

I can’t bear to go there back now, but back then I loved it. So my friend and I went to a sort of bar to catch up and that’s where I met her. She had long beautiful braids that were a little bit darker than her skin. She had chocolate coloured skin and to make a long story short I fell in love with her.’’

Justin is fascinated by the story, he never knew this. ‘’What happened to you two?’’

‘’I left and told her that I would come back for her and take her with me back home. But I was young and naïve. They hung her for doing voodoo on a white man.’’ Justin’s grandfather chuckles darkly. ‘’That was seriously an offence in New Orleans back then, but even if I had taken her with me she would’ve suffered the same fate.’’ Justin’s grandfather says, the sadness clear as day in his eyes.

‘’Don’t make the same mistakes I made, Justin. It’s a cruel world, and you could get Zayn really hurt.’’ Justin’s cheeks flush red when his grandfather says that making his grandfather laugh. ‘’What? Boy you ain’t slick, of course I noticed. Did you think I let Zayn stay over at our house because I like strangers?’’ Justin feels dumb for not noticing, his grandfather rarely let’s strangers or people he doesn’t like stay at the Bieber house.

‘’But do you understand what I’m saying Justin?’’

Justin nods slowly, he’s right. He can get Zayn in very much trouble if he tries to make a move. Justin himself is very privileged so him they’ll let go. But Zayn on the other hand doesn’t have that much privilege. And the real question is; is he selfish enough to do that? And will Zayn actually respond back to his feelings?

His feelings for the younger man get stronger by the minute and he’s aching just from being away from him.

‘’I understand gramps… And thank you.’’ Justin’s grandfather nods and smiles at his grandson. ‘’All I want for you Justin, is to be happy. And hopefully someday maybe people will finally mind their own goddamn business’’

‘’Amen,’’ Justin says with a playful grin and small tears from happiness in his eyes. He is so lucky to have this man in his life. ‘’While we’re on the topic; where is your boy?’’

Justin shrugs. ‘’I haven’t seen him all day. When I was finished at the office I came here straight away, he was gone. He had a hard time so I thought I would just let him relax at home.’’

‘’Is that after you talked to the boy?’’

‘’What was I supposed to talk to him about?’’ Justin asks in confusion making Justin’s grandfather sigh and pinch the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

‘’You told me that the boy embarrassed himself in front of our new partners making everyone think that you blew it.’’ He tells his grandson with exasperation.

‘’It wasn’t that bad.’’ Justin says making his grandfather snort. ‘’Yeah, but if it was me; I would hate myself. I would feel like I totally ruined it for you, especially since you didn’t tell him that everything was okay. He just seems like the type that would worry a lot.’’

‘’Shit, you’re right. What do I do, gramps?’’

‘’Are you kidding me boy? You’re a Bieber, so you’re going to get your ass over to his house and go make everything okay again. Maybe you can even get more out of it.’’ His grandfather says with a playful wink making Justin blush.

‘’God, no, gramps please don’t talk like that. You don’t know what you’re talking about.’’

‘’Boy you have no idea what _you’re_ talking about. When I was about your age I had to slap the girls off of me, it’s just the Bieber charm.’’ He says in a cocky voice.

‘’A real Casanova you were gramps, but I have to go. Thanks for the advice, I love you.’’ Justin says giving his grandfather a quick hug before hurrying to Zayn’s apartment. ‘’Be safe, son!’’ He hears his Gramps yell after him.

 

*

Justin is standing in front of Zayn’s door and is trying to scramble up the courage to knock on the door. He sighs, there goes nothing. He knocks on the door and waits patiently, when no one opens the door he knocks again this time harder. But still no one answers the door.

Justin walks towards one of the windows to get a glimpse, the lights are on so Zayn is definitely inside. He knocks on the window a few times. ‘’Zayn, I know you’re inside just open the door please.’’ Justin says while knocking on the window. He can see Zayn shuffle around through the living room and a few seconds later the door opens showing Zayn whose eyes are totally red and puffy.

Justin can feel his heart breaking slightly. He is such an idiot, he should have come to talk to Zayn immediately.

‘’Y-Yes?’’ He asks quietly with his eyes on the ground. ‘’Hey, I just wanted to talk to you. Can I come in for a second?’’ Justin asks quietly, afraid that if he talks too loudly that he’ll hurt Zayn in some way. And looking at Zayn’s posture that could very well be true, he looks awful but still of course is radiating with natural beauty.

‘’N-No, I’m s-sorry but… I want to be alone.’’ Zayn’s voice cracks halfway through the sentence and he is looking like he is ready to burst into tears. ‘’I don’t think you want to be alone.’’ Justin states quietly making Zayn sniffle a little. ‘’Zayn, listen, I’m not mad at you we did it. We made the deal with them, even though it was in a very odd way we still did it!’’ Justin exclaims with a big smile.

Zayn looks at him blankly for a second before bursting into tears realizing what that actually means. Justin is confused by Zayn’s crying, he thought that would comfort him. He holds Zayn’s arm and takes him inside closing the door behind him. ‘’Hey, shh… It’ll be fine, everything is going to be fine.’’ Justin says quietly trying to help Zayn but he himself is very confused as to why Zayn is so upset.

They sit down on Zayn’s cheap old couch and Justin holds Zayn close to him. ‘’I-It’s all-all s-so bad.’’ Zayn says in between sobs, Justin says nothing and just holds Zayn against his chest. ‘’It’s all going to be fine, babe. I promise.’’ He says quietly not even caring that he called Zayn babe. Zayn doesn’t seem to care either since he just lets himself cry against Justin’s chest.

After a good half hour of crying Zayn has fallen quiet against Justin’s chest. Justin goes with his fingers through Zayn’s soft hair. He cannot seem to understand how someone who is so perfect and pure can be so troubled. He just doesn’t quite get it, if Zayn was upset about the thing that happened this afternoon then he should have been fine now since they made the deal.

‘’I don’t understand.’’ Justin admits slowly when he sees that Zayn has calmed down a little. Zayn does not reply for a second. ‘’D-did you-you speak to them yet?’’ Zayn asks carefully. Justin is taken back by the sudden question. ‘’Yes, very briefly, they wanted to meet up tomorrow morning to talk about collabarating.’’

For some reason Zayn has the totally unreasonable idea that the moment Justin sits down with Klaus, Klaus will spill every single dirty thing they did together. Every moan, every touch, everything will be revealed.

He should know better considering Klaus is a war criminal and would be risking literally his own life. Zayn should know better but his mind is not thinking rationally anymore. He is just so scared.

‘’Zayn I do not think you are okay,’’ Justin starts, staring Zayn dead in the eyes. Zayn looks back at him, he notes how Justin’s eyes are a warm brown colour a stark difference to Klaus’ eyes. ‘’Why will you not tell me what has been upsetting you? You know I won’t judge you right?’’

Zayn shakes his head and pushes himself away from Justin. ‘’I did a really bad thing.’’ Zayn mumbles slowly, looking at Justin with a very pitiful look.

Justin shakes his head again. ‘’Zee, I already told you what happened today—‘’

‘’No! It’s not about what happened today, Justin!’’ Zayn yells, surprising not just himself but also Justin, ‘’You do not understand… You will never understand.’’ Zayn whispers quietly.

Justin frowns not understanding at all. ‘’Is it something personal?’’

Zayn says nothing for a second before nodding slowly. It is indeed personal, but he wants to tell Justin. He wants to tell Justin everything so badly, so that just maybe Justin could make everything alright again.

Because that is what Justin always did to Zayn. He made things feel just alright.

But Zayn knows better than that. He understands the seriousness of the matter, he cannot explain it to Justin. He will need days to explain everything to give Justin even a little bit of insight to what happened almost five years ago.

‘’I’m sorry,’’ Zayn breathes out.

Justin nods slowly, he understands that this is Zayn’s way of dismissing him. Justin gets up slowly, his joints cracking from how stiff he was seated. ‘’Alright then. I will respect your decision, but please do not hesitate to talk to me. I am always here for you, Zee.’’

Justin wants to add ‘’and I love you.’’ But he knows that is just absolutely ridiculous given the situation. Instead, Justin bows down and kisses Zayn on the head.

Very light and brief, but Zayn felt it for sure however he decided not to comment and maybe that’s for the best.

‘’I wish I could give you the day off tomorrow, but I cannot. I will let you go home early tomorrow though. Please do not worry too much.’’ Justin says, he stands there awkwardly looking at Zayn for another second before leaving.

Outside the apartment, Justin lingers wondering whether leaving Zayn alone now is in Zayn’s best interest. But eventually he let’s out a sigh and just leaves.

 

*

*

Zayn is in the elevator right now, biting his lip off.

He is trying to calm himself down but for some reason the idea of meeting Klaus again is just too surreal. Even though he has already seen him in the flesh yesterday it still seems all a dream. A nightmare for that matter Zayn has stayed up all night replaying the scene trying to figure out what emotion hid underneath Klaus’ eyes but he saw nothing.

The elevator bell rings, signalling that he is on the right floor. Zayn’s legs feel like bricks, but he walks towards Justin’s office anyways, avoiding eye-contact with everybody. Just in case that they happen to be Klaus. He walks towards the lounge area and makes himself a cup of coffee to help his shaking hands and most importantly his nerves. Zayn feels like he might faint any second now.

There was a time in which Zayn would have been over the moon to see Klaus again. It was just after he was liberated by the Soviets, all the SS-officers had fled including Klaus of course. Zayn remembers how he had cried pathetically, not out of happiness because he was finally a free man. But out of sadness, he was feeling lost without Klaus. He had entered the camp as young barely adult, and he left it as a sad hollow man. He was empty like a shell.

For a long-time he did not know how to function without Klaus, without his violence and anger. There was no one to lash out at him anymore, but there was also no one to comfort him anymore. Even if it was through very rough and unpleasant sex.

Zayn had decided against going home back to Britain, he could never face his family. He was a traitor. So he went to the land of dreams, hoping that moving continents would help him forget. Alas it did not work out so well.

At the beginning he was fearful of people finding out that he had slept with Klaus since there were stories everywhere of survivors sharing their stories. Many stories came out of all the cruel things Klaus did.

Snatching baby’s out of their mother’s arms and smothering them with a cloth. Making women choose which one of their children gets to live and otherwise shooting just all of them. Making the prisoners fight eachother for a pathetic piece of bread.

But there was never a story of his lover. Which made sense, Klaus always made sure that if a person from the camp saw us together they would end up dead eventually. Every other month he would kill all the staff he had in his villa and get new ones. Zayn has wondered for a long time whether Klaus did that for him, because he loved him and wanted to keep him safe. Or if he just did it because he could.

Perhaps they are the only people who know of Zayn’s dirty little secret. He remebers how all those maids walked in with coffee and treats on a plate while he was lying naked underneath Klaus. They never made eye-contact but Zayn knew.

Zayn knew that they despised him and he does not blame them. If he thinks too long on the things he did he could actually throw up.

Zayn hears the door of lounge open and immediatley all the hair on his body stands up. Those footsteps he can recognize everywhere. He takes the coffee cup and brings it to his lips slowly taking a sip.

He turns around and is immediatley faced with those cold blue eyes staring directly at him. Zayn cannot help but cast his eyes towards the ground. He can feel his hands shake like crazy so he puts them behind his back.

He can feel Klaus examine him, top to bottom. And then Klaus lifts his head up with his hand so that Zayn is facing him again.

Klaus has not changed much, besides the fact that his hair is now more brown than it is blonde. He just has more facial hair. He must be 36 now if Zayn’s calculations are correct.

‘’Liebling,’’ Klaus whispers bringing his hand to Zayn’s cheek.

Zayn feels a shock going through him and suddenly everything is so crystal clear.

The feeling he is feeling is regret. He regrets ever meeting this monster in front of him. He regrets ever sleeping with him. He should have let him kill him.

‘’I have searched for you for so long. I had almost given up.’’ Klaus whispers and some warmth sweeps through his cold poker face for a second, as if he himself cannot believe that this is really happening.

‘’Oh, there you guys are. Zayn, I see you have formally met Sir Kaiser.’’ Justin walks into the lounge area wearing a confident smile walking towards the two.

Zayn’s heart start to race and his cheek, where Klaus’ hand was, is burning like crazy. ‘’Y-yes good morning mister Bieber.’’ Zayn stutters out trying to remain calm while he walks away from Klaus’ side to Justin’s.

Justin places a hand on Zayn’s back in a comforting manner, which would be a nonchalant act if it was anyone else. But Klaus immediatley notices and narrows his eyes at Justin. ‘’We invite you to join us to my office sir Kaiser. If I am correct it is just you today?’’

‘’Yes.’’ Klaus says in his still ever apparent German accent.

The three of them walk towards Justin office, Justin makes small talk with Klaus talking about how he has been finding America and if he is enjoying himself. Klaus hums and answers but is not making much effort, his eyes are still narrowed and he looks properly pissed off.

Zayn eyes are switching between the two men trying to pick on any signals. He does not know how Klaus manages his anger now but he is suddenly so terrified for Justin. Anything can set off Klaus and it looks like he is moments away from shooting someone.

To anyone else looking he might just look mildly annoyed but Zayn knows that even little things can set Klaus off on a murder spree.

Justin is talking about how impressive Klaus’ company has been performing and then Klaus just cuts him off. ‘’Your assistant has been just great. Where can I get myself someone like him?’’ He asks with a devious smirk. Justin laughs it off not picking up on his tone. ‘’Yeah, Mr. Malik here is fantastic absolutely phenomenal. Without him I would not get half my work done.’’ Justin says smiling at Zayn like he hung up all the stars.

Klaus analyzes Justin for a second but says nothing. His smirk has gotten more and more forced and it is now looking more like a grimace. His hands seem to be itching as well. ‘’I see.’’ He states blankly.

Klaus walks around Justin’s office, seemingly analyzing things while Justin takes a seat at his desk. ‘’Bieber you were asking about our company secret as to why we are doing so well?’’ Klaus says slowly walking towards Justin with a blank face.

Zayn’s heart rate quickens as he looks at how Klaus walks towards Justin. ‘’Klaus…’’ Zayn brings out but it sounds more like a little peep. Making Justin raise an eyebrow at him, wondering why Zayn is talking informally to their guest.

Klaus shushes Zayn with a playful smirk, before turning to Justin again, face blank again. ‘’We do it by not fucking each others partners.’’ Klaus brings out through gritted teeth. Justin’s eyebrows draw together in confusion before he stands up to face Klaus. ‘’What the hell do-‘’

Before Justin can finish his sentence Klaus punches him square in the face.

Justin clutches his face and groans. Klaus looks down at him in annoyance before walking towards Zayn. He brings his blooded hand towards Zayn’s cheek. ‘’Do not worry Liebling, I will come and take you home.’’ He says flatly in German, his blank face turns into one filled with lust when he looks at Zayn. ‘’You have just become more beautiful over the years.’’ He whispers quietly before promplty walking away.

That’s when Zayn shoots out of his chair and walks towards Justin whose face is bleeding and nose seems to be a little crooked. ‘’What the fuck was that about.’’ Justin seethes as Zayn holds his face. Zayn does not say anything, Justin seems to be in pain and it is his fault. That is all that he can think about right now. ‘’Do not worry, everything will be fine.’’ He tells Justin and maybe it is also to himself.

He really does not want Klaus to take him anywhere. But he knows to stop Klaus he has to tell Justin, this is not something he can stop himself. ‘’I’m so sorry.’’ Zayn whispers tears burning in his eyes while putting a tissue against Justin’s nose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you all think, I will try and update quick and just finish this story and get it over with. X


End file.
